When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered,
by S. Michael Wilcox
I have read some posts on prayer lately, and heard some amazing talks on the subject, and while it was on my brain, I thought I would share again this review because the insights in this book meant so much to me. The book really helped me gain a greater appreciation for how prayer works, and how a spiritual perspective can help me through hard times. I hope it might be helpful to someone else as well.
You know how it feels when you hear or read something that is exactly what you needed at that point in your life. That’s what S. Michael Wilcox’s talk-made-into-a-book, entitled When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered, was for me. One of my dear friends had heard Brother Wilcox speak, and she shared some insights she had received in a Relief Society lesson. Shortly thereafter, I found a talk he had given where he discussed the concept of unanswered prayers. And my life was changed. Forever.
I was thrilled when I discovered that his talk had been made into a book. I wanted to be able to read and re-read and share and ponder the concepts that had had such an impact on me. Imagine my sheer delight when my aforementioned friend (also my visiting teacher) responded to a prompting to give me the book as a gift! And now, I get to share it with you!
Brother Wilcox’s book is a delightful little gem, just 62 pages long. It provides perspective, based on numerous scriptures, for those times when heaven seems far away, or when prayers seem to not be heard — when life just isn’t working out the way you had hoped it would.
Brother Wilcox reflects on the story of the Lord calming the sea in Mark 6:48-51, the story of the brother of Jared and the barges, the scripture in Luke 11:9-13about prayer and how our Father responds to our requests (as well as many other scriptures and personal experiences) to help us understand more of how God works His wonder in our individual lives. I don’t want to share too many specifics, because I want to let you discover on your own the way he beautifully likens the scriptures to answer the question, “Why does it seem heaven doesn’t hear or care?”
I will share one thing, however — the concept that has stayed with me the most. In the scripture in Luke 11, God tells us to ask, and promises that we will receive (see also references in Matthew and in 3 Nephi). He says that if an earthly father will respond with love to his son, how much more our Heavenly Father will respond to our requests! But it doesn’t always feel that way, does it? Brother Wilcox says this:
There are times in our lives when I think the Lord says, I gave you bread, but it wasn’t the kind of bread you wanted and because you keep thinking about the kind of bread you wanted you’ve turned my bread into a stone. I gave you a fish, but it wasn’t the flavor of fish that you wanted, and you’ve turned the fish into a serpent. Or I gave you an egg, but I cooked it differently from how you ordered it, and you think I’ve given you a scorpion.
C.S. Lewis speaks of two kinds of good — the expected good and the given good. There are times in my life I have to remind myself God does not give stones,…only bread (p. 36, emphasis his).
God does not give stones! That concept has changed my life. Whatever is happening in my life, if I am doing all I can to follow the Lord, it is bread. It is there to help me, to nourish me, to give me the chance to grow. God does not give us harmful things; He gives us what we need (in an eternal-growth, big-picture sense) — but not always necessarily what we want. If we focus too much on what we want, we might turn the heaven-sent bread (our own manna, perhaps?) into a stone, the fish into a serpent, the eggs into scorpions. He does not give scorpions or serpents or stones. He feeds us with those things that He knows will be for our good.
This one truth has opened up God’s love to me in unspeakable ways, and has helped me see life with a completely new perspective. I also appreciate the extra insight in Luke’s version of this scripture — that no matter what, our Father can give us “good gifts, through the Holy Spirit” (JST of v.13), and that in and of itself is a wonderful blessing in response to our pleadings.
If you or anyone you know has struggled with feeling that prayers have been unheard or unanswered (or is wanting to better understand the concept of prayer), I would highly recommend Deseret Book’s When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered by S. Michael Wilcox.
Cover image © Deseret Book. Used with permission.