Comments on: When evening falls so hard… http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/ Uplifting, edifying, and enriching reading by and for Latter-day Saint Women Tue, 06 Jan 2009 10:11:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Naiahdot » The good kind of busy http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-729 Mon, 15 May 2006 22:24:18 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-729 [...] Oh sure, I’m still juggling away, but now that the black dog has stalked on by, it’s as if the balls keep themselves afloat as my hands drift effortlessly from one to the next. It’s just awesome when life holds together like this. It’s all in balance again, or at least getting there. I’m active and engaged with my kids again, and I’m finding myself completing housework. I’m hacking away like a madwoman on A Prayer of Faith. So much is happening on that score; it’s all quite exciting. You’ll forgive me if I do not feel at liberty to discuss most of it publicly, but exciting things are happening and big plans are percolating. [...] […] Oh sure, I’m still juggling away, but now that the black dog has stalked on by, it’s as if the balls keep themselves afloat as my hands drift effortlessly from one to the next. It’s just awesome when life holds together like this. It’s all in balance again, or at least getting there. I’m active and engaged with my kids again, and I’m finding myself completing housework. I’m hacking away like a madwoman on A Prayer of Faith. So much is happening on that score; it’s all quite exciting. You’ll forgive me if I do not feel at liberty to discuss most of it publicly, but exciting things are happening and big plans are percolating. […]

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-553 Wed, 03 May 2006 19:33:40 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-553 Téa, I know you don't feel it right now, and you probably won't come to a place anytime soon that you will, but somewhere in your heart plase know that you *can* deal. It has to be sort of a proactive thing, though it can be an ongoing proactive battle. At least, that's how it is for me. I kind of feel I'm getting low, and so I slip into a kind of heightened alert mode, watching myself and my feelings a little more closely, mitigating what I can, and calling on the tools when I feel myself slipping. I know how you feel right now, hon. I also know you have at least one tool--my phone number!!! Use it! =) ~ ~ ~ Kaimi, Well spotted. That song is one of my personal anthems, especially when I get to feeling like this. It goes way back in my life. Silly trivia, my Powerbook is named Silvergirl. I was telling my husband recently that, all my life, I have associated with the first part of the song--always about to slip into the troubled water, always being saved. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've 'crossed the bridge' (meaning the musical bridge) to the last part of the song. I'm finally Silvergirl, and my dreams are starting to shine. It's nice. ~ ~ ~ annegb, Oh no! I have a similar lesson, learned in my own experience. NEVER quote Winston Churchill when describing how your depression feels ("the black dog"). You will find yourself on unnecessary antipsychotics faster than you can say "No, I don't SEE a dog; it just feels like one!" Y'know, I was just telling Rob that I could use a retreat just like you describe here. A place with lovely linens, good food, plenty of time and space to rest and read, and massages on demand! Maybe we should all pool our resources and have a 'naclite sisters' retreat somewhere. =) As for your p.s., if I'm there I promise to sing along. ~ ~ ~ Lynette, Yeah, naming it kind of calls it out as separate entity. I'm glad you liked the post. Thanks for chiming in. :) Téa,
I know you don’t feel it right now, and you probably won’t come to a place anytime soon that you will, but somewhere in your heart plase know that you *can* deal. It has to be sort of a proactive thing, though it can be an ongoing proactive battle. At least, that’s how it is for me. I kind of feel I’m getting low, and so I slip into a kind of heightened alert mode, watching myself and my feelings a little more closely, mitigating what I can, and calling on the tools when I feel myself slipping. I know how you feel right now, hon. I also know you have at least one tool–my phone number!!! Use it! =)
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Kaimi,
Well spotted. That song is one of my personal anthems, especially when I get to feeling like this. It goes way back in my life. Silly trivia, my Powerbook is named Silvergirl. I was telling my husband recently that, all my life, I have associated with the first part of the song–always about to slip into the troubled water, always being saved. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve ‘crossed the bridge’ (meaning the musical bridge) to the last part of the song. I’m finally Silvergirl, and my dreams are starting to shine. It’s nice.
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annegb,
Oh no! I have a similar lesson, learned in my own experience. NEVER quote Winston Churchill when describing how your depression feels (”the black dog”). You will find yourself on unnecessary antipsychotics faster than you can say “No, I don’t SEE a dog; it just feels like one!”

Y’know, I was just telling Rob that I could use a retreat just like you describe here. A place with lovely linens, good food, plenty of time and space to rest and read, and massages on demand! Maybe we should all pool our resources and have a ‘naclite sisters’ retreat somewhere. =)

As for your p.s., if I’m there I promise to sing along.
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Lynette,
Yeah, naming it kind of calls it out as separate entity. I’m glad you liked the post. Thanks for chiming in. :)

]]> by: Lynnette http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-546 Wed, 03 May 2006 06:44:10 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-546 Similar to what you said about realizing that it's not you that's feeling this, I think that just being able to label what's going on as "depression" can be helpful. For me, it's a way of distancing myself a bit from raging guilt or catastrophic thinking or hopelessness or whatever else is plaguing me. I try to keep reminding myself that I should be just a teeny bit skeptical about putting too much stock in my current perceptions of the world. Great post. I'm constantly re-visiting this question, and I like hearing how other people cope. Similar to what you said about realizing that it’s not you that’s feeling this, I think that just being able to label what’s going on as “depression” can be helpful. For me, it’s a way of distancing myself a bit from raging guilt or catastrophic thinking or hopelessness or whatever else is plaguing me. I try to keep reminding myself that I should be just a teeny bit skeptical about putting too much stock in my current perceptions of the world.

Great post. I’m constantly re-visiting this question, and I like hearing how other people cope.

]]> by: annegb http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-545 Wed, 03 May 2006 06:07:36 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-545 PS, that's my favorite song, it's being sung at my funeral. Already have the talks, prayers, and songs assigned. PS, that’s my favorite song, it’s being sung at my funeral. Already have the talks, prayers, and songs assigned.

]]> by: annegb http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-544 Wed, 03 May 2006 06:04:55 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-544 Naiah, I've been going through something similar. Note to self: never check myself into a psyche unit again. never call a crisis hotline and hang up (they send the cops) Very rough. If I ever get rich, I'm going to build a place for depressed Mormon women, non-profit, with daily massages and nice sheets and comforters and soft pillows and drugs if you want them and good food. And no paranoid schizophrenics or Nurses Ratchett. Naiah, I’ve been going through something similar.

Note to self: never check myself into a psyche unit again.
never call a crisis hotline and hang up (they send the cops)

Very rough. If I ever get rich, I’m going to build a place for depressed Mormon women, non-profit, with daily massages and nice sheets and comforters and soft pillows and drugs if you want them and good food.

And no paranoid schizophrenics or Nurses Ratchett.

]]> by: Kaimi http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-543 Wed, 03 May 2006 05:47:07 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-543 I'm glad to hear you're doing better, Naiah. It sounds like your coping mechanisms are working well, as well as can be expected. And it's nice to have you back. Apropos your title (great title, btw): Sail on silver girl, sail on by. Your time has come to shine. All your dreams are on their way. I’m glad to hear you’re doing better, Naiah. It sounds like your coping mechanisms are working well, as well as can be expected. And it’s nice to have you back.

Apropos your title (great title, btw):

Sail on silver girl, sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.

]]> by: Téa http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-541 Wed, 03 May 2006 05:15:59 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-541 "How do you deal? " Most of the time I don't. Blind to any toolboxes around me, never mind trying to find any tool in time... If only cynical pessimism was a viable implement--I always seem to have plenty of that on hand. Right now my best weapons to fight in the night are those who've gone before me. I can't see their lights at the end of the tunnel, but I can generally trust them when they say dawn breaks and shadows flee. "O Savior stay this night with me, behold, 'tis eventide." “How do you deal? ”

Most of the time I don’t. Blind to any toolboxes around me, never mind trying to find any tool in time… If only cynical pessimism was a viable implement–I always seem to have plenty of that on hand.

Right now my best weapons to fight in the night are those who’ve gone before me. I can’t see their lights at the end of the tunnel, but I can generally trust them when they say dawn breaks and shadows flee.

“O Savior stay this night with me, behold, ’tis eventide.”

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-538 Tue, 02 May 2006 18:01:29 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-538 Starfoxy, Hahaha! That was about what my pattern came down to, also, for years. *hugs* to you and your hubby. I'm glad these ideas look good. If I can do anything more, give me a call. ~ ~ ~ Eric, It's weird, but when I get down, it's like I don't care about anything that I usually like, even (maybe especially) my hobbies, but I guess, coming at it from the other end (anxiety) hobbies could help you calm down. I did forget to mention the importance of a good counselor. Even aside from the relief that talking things through and coming to better understand them, a counselor is a good neutral third party who cam kind of 'keep an eye' on you, and let you know when you might be worse off than you thought. Thanks, Eric. ~ ~ ~ Anon, Do we live anywhere near each other? ;) In my experience, your mention of "a little of this, a little of that" really sums it up. There is no tride and true coping mechanism that'll always see me through. It's a constant state of trial-and-error. Thanks for chiming in. ~ ~ ~ VirtualM, Also, thanks for your optimism, really. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to feel. Starfoxy,
Hahaha! That was about what my pattern came down to, also, for years. *hugs* to you and your hubby. I’m glad these ideas look good. If I can do anything more, give me a call.
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Eric,
It’s weird, but when I get down, it’s like I don’t care about anything that I usually like, even (maybe especially) my hobbies, but I guess, coming at it from the other end (anxiety) hobbies could help you calm down.

I did forget to mention the importance of a good counselor. Even aside from the relief that talking things through and coming to better understand them, a counselor is a good neutral third party who cam kind of ‘keep an eye’ on you, and let you know when you might be worse off than you thought. Thanks, Eric.
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Anon,
Do we live anywhere near each other? ;)
In my experience, your mention of “a little of this, a little of that” really sums it up. There is no tride and true coping mechanism that’ll always see me through. It’s a constant state of trial-and-error. Thanks for chiming in.
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VirtualM,
Also, thanks for your optimism, really. Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to feel.

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-537 Tue, 02 May 2006 17:33:27 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-537 VirtualM, I'm glad you spoke up in favor of the meds. They truly are a lifesaver for some, and that's why I made a point of saying that *I* happened to have had bad experience with them, but that nobody should read into that any judgement on them or their choice to take them. If they set you to rights, then by all means, they are good!!! VirtualM,
I’m glad you spoke up in favor of the meds. They truly are a lifesaver for some, and that’s why I made a point of saying that *I* happened to have had bad experience with them, but that nobody should read into that any judgement on them or their choice to take them. If they set you to rights, then by all means, they are good!!!

]]> by: VirtualM http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-536 Tue, 02 May 2006 17:29:37 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/04/29/evening-falls/#comment-536 I always knew I was depressive, but I never knew how bad until a very close friend pointed it out and helped me get the help I truly needed. I've been on and off of anti depressants for the past several years, and they do wonders for me. I can cope. I don't feel hopeless. I don't break down and cry several times a day, and the fog lifts inside of my head. I post this because of the stigma around medications. I am so grateful for them. I even went to see a therapist after getting back on antidepressants this last time and he said that I was doing so well that I didn't need therapy. It really is all about finding what works for you and sticking with it, whether you can control your symptoms through meditative techniques or whether you need medication. Drawing and keeping a journal have worked wonders for me as well. :) One word of caution about exercise...do it for the health benefits and not for weight loss purposes when you're depressed. I have a hard time losing weight, and when I was going to the gym several times a week(5 or 6) and not seeing any benefits after several months, I got even more depressed. The therapist cautioned me that I was putting too much pressure and focus on the exercise and that I wasn't getting the benefits from it. Best of luck to all, depression is miserable, but it is also manageable. I always knew I was depressive, but I never knew how bad until a very close friend pointed it out and helped me get the help I truly needed.
I’ve been on and off of anti depressants for the past several years, and they do wonders for me. I can cope. I don’t feel hopeless. I don’t break down and cry several times a day, and the fog lifts inside of my head. I post this because of the stigma around medications. I am so grateful for them. I even went to see a therapist after getting back on antidepressants this last time and he said that I was doing so well that I didn’t need therapy. It really is all about finding what works for you and sticking with it, whether you can control your symptoms through meditative techniques or whether you need medication. Drawing and keeping a journal have worked wonders for me as well. :)
One word of caution about exercise…do it for the health benefits and not for weight loss purposes when you’re depressed. I have a hard time losing weight, and when I was going to the gym several times a week(5 or 6) and not seeing any benefits after several months, I got even more depressed. The therapist cautioned me that I was putting too much pressure and focus on the exercise and that I wasn’t getting the benefits from it.
Best of luck to all, depression is miserable, but it is also manageable.

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