Comments on: Does Age Difference in a Relationship Matter?

by: Cloe

Sat, 20 May 2006 21:16:20 +0000

I have recently expressed my true feelings toward an intelligent and wonderful man who is 10 yrs of my junior.

We have so many common grounds and that’s what drawn to him and I finally feel my “quest” is over.

I also believe that relationship MUST consider couple’s intelligence level for compatibility purposes.

by: Blain

Fri, 05 May 2006 06:03:16 +0000

10 — I suspect I could give you some solid evidence if I’d ever watched the Anna Nicole Show.

But God is merciful, and I didn’t have to watch it. Sorry.

by: JKS

Thu, 04 May 2006 20:18:40 +0000

I think age differences can be difficult and may make a relationship impossible. But it doesn’t necessarily make it impossible.
I would say it is similar to other differences. Huge gaps in religion, intelligence, looks, etc.
I think that it is important for a couple to feel like they are on equal footing and to really connect. Donald Trump’s current wife said, when asked if she would have married Trump without the billions of dollars, “Would he have married me if I wasn’t a supermodel?”
I like that answer. Because it has the right attitude. They may be different but they are both sure of who they are and how valuable it is.
If the age difference feels uncomfortable, if one person feels superior or inferior, then don’t pursue it. But if not, why not?

by: El Jefe

Thu, 04 May 2006 11:19:14 +0000

Blain, you shouldn’t be so judgmental. How do you know the old geezer wasn’t in love with Anna Nicole Smith’s mind?

by: Naiah

Wed, 03 May 2006 19:41:13 +0000

Sarah,
Here’s one for you. I once had a realtionship with a man 16 years my senior. Obviously we didn’t marry, but it was delightful while it lasted. The kicker is that my mom was only 17 when I was born.

by: miss sarah

Wed, 03 May 2006 05:39:25 +0000

I’ve given this some thought lately . . . it definitely seems like where you are in life dictates whether or not this is acceptable. I’ve been asked out recently by a great guy who’s 12 years my senior. He’s intelligent, attractive, spiritual, successful, and I ended up turning him down. I usually date men older than myself, but 12 was just a little too much of a gap. Given that I’m only in my early twenties, I’m very aware of the fact that I still have some growing up to do. I’m attracted to the idea of growing up with someone - not just “growing old” with someone, but growing up with someone. But perhaps I’m romanticizing this? I was a little saddened for awhile at the thought that I rejected someone amazing for what seems to be a superficial reason, and I haven’t totally mitigated the guilt yet, so if someone can convince me in a compelling manner why I should reconsider, I’ll listen. I think 12 seemed like such a large gap because my father and I are only 21 years apart, and so 12 is as close in age to my father as it is to myself. Thoughts?

by: Mr. !ncredible

Wed, 03 May 2006 05:01:19 +0000

I don’t belive that age does matter much past the age of 21. Before that it still seems a bit sketchy to me. I generally like to date older women because they are more independent in their thinking etc and know more of what they want from life. In my past experience it seems that younder girls often times look to the guy to form their opinions for them. I don’t want to “train” (for lack of a better word) a girl I’m dating. There are lots of women who are younger than me who are far more advanced in their thinking and such things. I don’t think age should be the biggest consideration in a relationship but more that you have the common desire to make things work through the thick and thin of things. Couples in our society are far too selfish and unwilling to work through things. They would rather take the easy route–divorse. I say follow the feelings and inspiration you receive from on high. Our Heavenly Father knows better than we do what is best for us.

by: Starfoxy

Tue, 02 May 2006 21:44:21 +0000

Hehe, I just found this story about a 33 yo man who married a 104 yo woman.

by: Pris

Tue, 02 May 2006 14:14:17 +0000

I’ve never dated someone younger than me (and am surprised that more men don’t date older women). When I was in college, I dated a woman 5 years older than me, which isn’t a lot–but since I was in school and she wasn’t, things were difficult. So, yeah, I’d say that age matters, but only insofar as it means different ‘places’ in life.

by: Blain

Tue, 02 May 2006 07:25:11 +0000

I think, when you’re talking about large age differences, it does matter. Not in the sense that it necessarily shouldn’t happen, but it’s certainly going to have some impacts. As age difference increases, you find people who have less in common, and age can bring power differences as well. Take a look at Anna Nicole Smith and her former husband, who was old enough to be her grandfather. He didn’t pick her because he was looking for a great mind, and she didn’t pick him because he liked the same music she did. I do think that the age difference is less of an issue as the younger party becomes older. An eighteen year old dating a thirty-eight year old isn’t quite the same as thirty dating fifty.

Age, experience level, maturity, personality type, values, beliefs are all significant issues in building a strong relationship, and it’s important to have things in them reasonably in common, or, at least, complimentarily associated.

My parents were within two months of being exactly ten years apart in age. This had its impacts on their marriage and my life — not all bad by any stretch, but definitely there were impacts.