A Prayer of Faith

One of my favorite books is Vogue’s Book of Etiquette: A complete guide to traditional forms and modern usage, By Millicent Fenwick, Associate Editor of Vogue. This book was published in 1948, and is 644 pages long, not including the rather expansive index. It is, for lack of a better term, a hoot.

While it is dreadfully useful when one must know where the salad fork should be placed, and for which salad it should be used, it is most useful for my amusement. During my college days I would while away the hours reading this book, sharing little gems of wisdom with my roomate. Upon returning from dates we would dive into the book to see how we should have handled a given situation ‘properly.’ It eventually came to be known as “The Etiquette Bible.”

Given the discussion about civility that has been going at BCC, I thought I’d re-read my trusty book to brush up on my own civility. I came across this passage, and thought I’d share:

Deportment in Church

“The first point is that a church is not a social meeting place. Heads turned to look for friends in the congregation, merry nods and smiles, gay greetings, and a distracted restlessness are all out of place in church. If one happens to catch a friend’s eye, there is no reason to withhold a glance of recognition and a short subdued smile; but respect for the place and concentration on the ceremony should be the basis of all one’s behavior.

At joyful religious ceremonies, such as weddings and christenings, a little more leniency is expected; but even here greetings should be subdued, and personal or social relationships subordinated to the ceremony. Guests at a wedding may quite properly turn their heads to smile at friends who are coming in, and of course to watch the bride come up the aisle. But the parents of the bride and groom and members of the wedding procession should not treat the occasion as a triumphal progress; there may be a few smiles and nods, particularly on the return down the aisle, but there should be no unrestrained gaiety and certainly no waving.”

I would hate to hear what Mrs. Fenwick would have to say about baby blessings.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 19th, 2006 at 10:09 am and is filed under Whisperings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.