If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn’t Be Hard…,
by Sheri Dew
Let me begin by saying that there is so much in this inspiring book that it almost seems impossible that it should all fit into such a small binding. Do not let the size of the volume fool you; it has a surprising amount to offer. Sister Dew, in her delightfully articulate yet relaxed voice moves steadily through layers of comfort, advice, admonition, celebration, and stunning personal, social, and spiritual realization.
Her central assertion is that “[t]his life was designed to be a test–a test to determine if we want to be part of the kingdom of God more than we want anything else.” (page 5) She goes on to address many of the various ‘anything elses’ that are so present and can pull so hard at our resolve.
With a near endless parade of scriptures, quotations, and anecdotes, Sister Dew walks us through many of the toughest issues that we as sisters face today. She discusses the nature of charity, the importance of family, the miraculous possibilities of true and abiding faith.
“For charity changes us. It transforms us. It is as a healing balm. When we plead with all the energy of our hearts to be filled with the pure love of Christ, the increasing, continual bestowal of charity not only changes our natures, it heals us from the emotional and other wounds created by the buffetings we experience in this lone and dreary world.” pages 58-59
She offers such deeply touching comfort in the face of the isolation so many of us feel by reminding us of just how present and willing a help Heavenly Father is and can be in our lives if we but ask. She also discusses much more personal topics such as differentiating from our true burdens our emotional baggage and learning to cast it aside and heal.
“Burdens have the potential to exalt us, but baggage just weighs us down and wears us out. When we don’t repent, sin becomes baggage. Natural-man behaviors that we aren’t ready to give up become baggage … We choose whether or not to pick up baggage, and Satan loves nothing more than loading us up like pack mules.” pages 28-29
Through it all, though, Sister Dew never comes across as esoteric or distant. She maintains a very open voice, making the entire book very personable and sincere. The details of her life and feelings of her heart that she shares make it clear that this is a woman who has truly lived these realizations. She has tried and failed, examined and learned, and we are the beneficiaries of her willingness to share her experience.
She draws not only on her own experiences but on those from history, social research, and religious thinkers, as well as the scriptures and the lives and words of the prophets. “If Life Were Easy…” is an edifying and empowering read. Sister Dew feels and knows of the power we hold as sisters in this gospel, and calls out to each of us to see it within ourselves.
“And perhaps there are few things that would do more good in today’s world than for virtue-loving, covenant-keeping women to stand up, speak up, and live up to their values and beliefs. We are uniquely positioned to teach by word and deed that purity actually diminishes Satan’s ability to influence us, and that virtue is the key to happiness.” page 118
“If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn’t Be Hard, and Other Reassuring Truths,” by Sheri Dew. Published by Deseret Book.
Cover image © 2006 Deseret Book. Used with permission.
May 22nd, 2006 14:10
I hated this book least of all her books. It was okay, there were moments when I didn’t feel like throwing myself off the Grand Canyon.
I wrote her telling her what I thought and she never wrote back.
Imagine that.
My hero is Cheiko Okazaki.
May 22nd, 2006 15:21
Annegb,
Have you read her biography of President Hinckley, “Go Forward with Faith”? Click on the link in her name, and it’ll take you to the page with all her titles on it. I really and truly recommend that one–even if you’re not much of a Sheri Dew fan.
Given how you’ve been feeling lately, though, I almost wonder if *not* feeling like “throwing [your]self into the Grand Canyon” isn’t downright high praise. I hope you’re doing better.
I can’t imagine Sister Dew has time to write back to everyone. So, try not to take it personally.
Funny that Sister Okazaki’s books have, in the past, tweaked me.
May 22nd, 2006 19:50
LOL, yeah, you’re right.
There were several things in the book you review that I enjoyed and I so hope she is more like that than the rather preachy person I think she is–her friendship with a gay man, the conclusions she reached touched me to the bone, also I liked her friends who said the bear could eat her
. I know, I’m paraphrasing, but I thought if she has normal friends, she might be normal as well.
And yes, I did read President Hinckley’s biography, and I agree with you. I’d forgotten that one.
I write to authors all the time, not so many write back
.
By tweaked, did you mean they bothered you? In what way?
May 22nd, 2006 21:03
Ha, tweaked in the sense that I read about three paragraphs and saw something I didn’t like. I am suddenly wondering what I’m missing out on.
May 22nd, 2006 22:39
I’m laughing about my moods “Oh, that’s right, I was suicidal, that was yesterday. Today I’m just tired but happy.” Dang, menopause is a bad word. I hope that’s the reason because otherwise I’m in serious trouble.
I’m really surprised that you got that reaction to Cheiko Okazaki, her writing is so gentle and leaves so much wiggle room for the “shoulds” that it’s where I go when I need encouragement. She wrote a wonderful chapter on healing from sexual abuse, and recorded it.
I admire and respect Sheri Dew, but I don’t see her admiring and respecting me. Even liking me. And I guess that puts me off, feeling like I’m reading someone who would look down on me. I don’t know if that makes sense. I probably really do have many personalities and I’m in deep denial.
May 23rd, 2006 11:42
Naiah, I think I understand about being tweaked by Cheiko Okazaki. When I read one of her books I was at a time in my life when I needed some positive reminders that the choices I had made to stay home with small children were right. I was not getting this from parenting and/or womens magazines. Reading her book did not help, I felt that it did the opposite. Though women I knew who worked outside the home usually loved her. I haven’t read anthing of hers since. Maybe I should try again. It is possible that we react to things differently at different stages of our lives.
I enjoy Sister Dew, even though my life is nothing like hers. I think her biography of President Hinckley is great. And I did enjoy her latest book also.
May 23rd, 2006 12:53
Isn’t it funny what we internalize? I never paid attention to what she said about working. I haven’t worked, but what I love are her telling me that I’m good enough, to stop comparing myself to others and lighten up, a title of one of her books. I really took to heart how she decided to marry her husband, a non-member, and what a wonderful person he turned out to be.
There is a lot in her books besides working moms.
Which makes me think I should go back and read Sheri Dew’s books again. I have them, I’ve read them, they didn’t resonate with me.
But you know, for myself, I think one of my problems with Sheri Dew is that she isn’t a soft woman. She seems kind of hard to me. I know that’s not PC or maybe even psychologically healthy, but it’s the impression I get. Thus I judge everything she writes by that same thing. She doesn’t seem to like anybody. If you just look at her, I mean.
May 23rd, 2006 12:54
Oh, and I’m not convinced this life was meant to be a test, at least not primarily. I think we passed the test and we’re just here to learn and grow and get a body which, frankly, I think I could do without.
I think it’s actually easier than we think. No, I hope, because I’m in big trouble if not. I’m sort of banking on it.
May 23rd, 2006 13:15
Anne- I agree, isn’t it funny what we internalize. I wonder if my reactions to people / things have more to do with where I am in my life and what I am currently coping with than anything else. In another time and place, who knows what my reaction would be.
By the way, I’ve been reading your comments for a while now and I enjoy them.
May 23rd, 2006 16:23
Annegb is definitely a great person to have commenting on a blog!
I think life is a test, but not the multiple choice or true false test that we can try to get 100% on. It’s more of an essay question. We all get dealt a different hand, and we do the best with what we’ve got. The Lord will be a fair “judge” I think.
Honestly, this test is for our own knowledge, not for God’s. God already knows us.
May 23rd, 2006 16:29
I think life is also a test of our character, endurance, and faith. I was just reading a talk by Elder Eyring about that.
“We have trials to face because our Heavenly Father loves us. His purpose is to help us qualify for the blessing of living with Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, forever in glory and in families. To qualify for that gift we had to receive a mortal body. With that mortality we understood that we would be tested by temptations and by difficulties.
“The restored gospel not only teaches us why we must be tested, but it makes clear to us what the test is. The Prophet Joseph Smith gave us an explanation. By revelation, he was able to record words spoken at the Creation of the world. They are about us, those of the spirit children of our Heavenly Father who would come into mortality. Here are the words:
“’And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.’
“That explanation helps us understand why we face trials in life. They give us the opportunity to prove ourselves faithful to God. ”
Sometimes even that knowledge alone can help me have a better perspective when I’m faced with trials. Otherwise, it’s too easy for me to get into “entitlement” mode and think that somehow I “deserve” not to suffer (picture my eyes rolling here).
May 23rd, 2006 23:57
FWIW, I love Cheiko Okazaki. I agree with annegb–she’s so careful to promote kindness, understanding, and mutual respect that it’s hard for me to imagine her offending anyone.
May 24th, 2006 09:06
It’s been many years since I looked at Sister Okazaki’s books. I’ll make a point of checking them out the next time I’m at DB.
May 26th, 2006 10:52
When I’m listening to a speaker, or reading a book, it’s easier for me to identify with someone who is using personal practical experiences with gospel principles, rather than relying on the “trials of others” to make their points. Sheri Dew opens her life up like this for me, time and time again, so I never have to wonder if she’s sitting in some ivory tower looking down on us and granting us her wisdom from up there.
Sister Dew knows who she is, she wants us to know who we are, and what we can accomplish as we follow God. I think she does an excellent job of urging all of us along that path in this book.
May 26th, 2006 12:07
Exactly, Téa! That’s the same sense I got. For all that she is president of DB and everything, in reading this, I felt like we were maybe sitting at a café somewhere and she was telling me about her life. I thought about including a quotation to show hoe she does this, but it’s just throughout the language of the book; there was no way to pick just one.
May 26th, 2006 14:33
Thanks for this post and comments! I am now convinced that I simply must read this book. I met and had some conversation with Sister Dew a couple of years ago when we briefly sat next to each other during an open house/reception. Although I agree that she can appear intimidating at first(she is tall, with a strong-featured face and a decisive voice and manner), I found her to be friendly and gracious, as well as witty and intelligent in her conversation. I love her bio of President Hinckley, but haven’t read any of her other books. That is going to change.
May 26th, 2006 15:05
I love the inteligence of Sister Dew. She is the one person who would speak that I never felt like she was talking down to me. I get so tired of women talking like they are talking to children all the time. I think that is why I attend classes taught by men during education week. I always felt that she made the best of her life when perhaps she would have wanted something more. That is what we all have to do, is make the best of what we are given and when we are given it. I haven’t finished my copy yet. Emotionally I haven’t been there for it.