Can you spare some change?
As a youth I was advised by an older member of the ward to only carry a checkbook, or credit card because, if you don’t have cash on you, then you won’t have to lie when you say you don’t have any change to spare. At the time I thought this was good advice, and got into the habit of simply not having change with me.
While I was attending school at NAU in Flagstaff AZ, I was approached by an old terribly thin Native American woman. All I could understand through her poor English was that she was hungry. I could see it in her eyes, and hear it in her voice. She was not lying. I turned her away, because I had no cash in my wallet.
Later that night I felt horrible guilt. The weather was not good, and that woman’s coat was thin. Though I had no cash in my wallet, I did have a debit card. I could have taken her into the bagel shop nearby and bought her a bagel. I had the time, and the means. I realized that it was my attitude, my purposeful un-preparedness, that made me unable to see the ways I could help this woman. By emptying my wallet of change, I had emptied my heart of charity.
In contrast, Bishop H. David Burton shared a story in this past April in his talk titled “Tender Hearts and Helping hands.”
“A group of men were talking with the Prophet Joseph Smith one day when news arrived that the house of a poor brother who lived some distance from town was burned down. Everyone expressed sorrow for what had happened. The Prophet listened for a moment, then “put his hand in his pocket, took out five dollars and said, ‘I feel sorry for this brother to the amount of five dollars; how much do you all feel sorry?’ ” The immediacy of the Prophet’s response is significant.”
Brother Burton then goes on to remind us of our baptismal covenants, as listed in Mosiah 18: 8-9.
8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
“[A]re willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort…” You may notice, that it says nothing about the membership status or worthiness of the people involved. All we know about those that we are supposed to comfort and mourn with is that they need comfort, and they have reason to mourn.
The remainder of Brother Burton’s address is a description of the many opportunities that recent natural disasters have provided to comfort, assist, and help those in need. He lists many ways of offering help. Through charitable donations, clearing away debris, digging wells, and providing food, blankets and hygeine kits. Weather services predict another season of severe storms. Economic and civil strife in many lands will doubtlessly end with many people being in need of aid. Opportunities to serve, share, and help will not stop.
There are many things I know how to do that are useful. I can make quilts, and knit warm clothing. I can make tropical sore bandages. However, I don’t know how to dig a well. I don’t know how to plant a garden. I wouldn’t know how to feed a starving person back to health. There are many useful basic skills that I can cultivate. There is room in my budget for generous donations. There are supplies in my cabinets that I can share. I can fill my heart with charity by learning how to help, by filling my closets and pantry with food and supplies, by keeping change in my wallet for the specific purpose of being able to share.
When I emptied my wallet I was practicing pre-meditated selfishness. We can practice pre-meditated charity by preparing ourselves to help those in need. I will start by carrying five dollars in my wallet. How will you do it?
May 25th, 2006 09:14
I still have an image in my mind (I suppose I will carry it with me for the rest of my life) of a woman asking for money as I got into a taxi while I was a missionary. My budget was so tight, and it was impossible to travel without money because our area was too big and we had no bikes. I turned her away in the spirit of “not running faster than I have strength” because I knew I could give away all of my funds if I didn’t draw a line somewhere. In that split second, however, I knew I made a mistake. But the taxi sped off and I was left to be haunted by my actions. I have prayed that she and heaven would forgive me. I think part of what haunts me about that is that I was literally wearing the Savior’s name on my heart. But I missed that opportunity to act in His name that day. (Ooooo, this is making my stomach sick.)
When I lived back East after my mission, I made it a point to always give something when I passed someone begging on the street. I always think of the scripture in Mosiah 4:19: “For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?” Now where I live, we are encouraged not to give handouts, but to donate to homeless shelters to help those in need. I need to do more of that. I think sometimes, what I need is reminders like this to bring my need for compassion and charity to the forefront, so I will be more “anxiously engaged” in trying to help relieve others’ suffering.
So, thanks for the reminder, Starfoxy!
May 25th, 2006 09:50
I LOVE this topic; it’s something I feel really strongly about. A few years ago my roommates and I created a petty cash box specifically so that we’d have money to share, because none of us can manage to walk past someone downtown who’s asking for handouts. It was so easy, to always toss our change in there and then grab a few bills on our way out the door. I still try to keep a small amount on me for that purpose, but as was mentioned, cultivating and sharing skills or donating to shelters probably has a longer and stronger influence. We can support public policy and programs that work to better allocate resources that are already out there. Even some of the current charity organizations that collect money aren’t really effectively using the funds they have. The resources are there. We just need to help each other use them and direct them more smartly. This is charity too.
Brother Burton’s talk is so wonderful because it reminds us we did indeed covenant at baptism. And then again, in the temple, we also commit to the law of consecration. Is this covenant being neglected? I’ve talked to more than one bishop who thought so. The law obviously doesn’t have to be in full force for us to be invoking it’s precepts. Jacob 2 and Mosiah 4 are some of my all-time favorite scriptures because they remind us how to do so.
Fighting inequity in poverty, in healthcare, in education, is an enormous task. But as one of my heroes (the modern Albert Schweitzer) says, “the fact the world’s poor are calling upon us to help is a marker, in my view, of the limitless potential of human solidarity.” He also said “A small group of British abolitionists in the 19th century began a movement that said ‘Slavery is wrong, and we’re going to change it.’ And they did. I believe we can convince people that it is wrong for the destitute sick of the world to die unattended. We can change that, too.”(Paul Farmer)
Highly idealist, I know. But I’m okay with that.
May 25th, 2006 10:11
starfoxy, you didn’t have to guilt everyone into donating to my marathon run, I could have done that myself
Just kidding
I have also used the “where do I draw the line” excuse to not give to the needy…knowing full well that the Lord sees right past it.
One other excuse(?) I use is that I disapprove of the usage of funds. A prime example being the vagrant who takes the money to buy alchohol. But how often have I offered instead to buy someone a hamburger? That would be umm.. never.
So again, I stand guilty as charged. *sigh*
May 25th, 2006 10:24
Great post. What an amazing story that brought about a change of heart. It is difficult to be faced with endless beggars and realize you can’t afford to give to them all (usually to support a habit) because it can start to make you less compassionate. Up until recently, we didn’t have any room in our budget for things like that.
Since we recently have a little more, I have been thinking about ways to be more generous. Luckily we had a church talk on fast offerings and my husband and I decided we can start to give more to fast offerings and various other church funds. I have also thought about finding a local shelter to donate to.
One way that I thought would be good for my children is to give food to the people who beg. I have sometimes kept bags with a juice box, crackers, granola bar, etc. in the car to give away. It wasn’t a lot of money, and might actually help a little. I actually haven’t replenished my supply, so I will do so!
Thank you for bringing up this subject. It is easy to forget about or have “pre-meditated selfishness.”
May 25th, 2006 11:34
This is such a great a moving topic. I do think there is wariness to give because so many do make there living off of begging. It is frightening to see the reports of those who actually make more than my husband does working two jobs off of pan handling. I have always tried to follow the promting of the spirit in such moments and I have felt I have never been wrong when I have done so. Like so many of you we have increased our donations to fast offerings and other church funds. It has helped me to know that somehow that money will be used wisely. Maybe it is a cop out? To give charity is so much more than the monetary help. We have opened our doors and home countless times not just to family but strangers in need. Sometimes I’m amazed that we have done so and we have learned much in the process.
I know I need to sacrifice more time in efforts to be charitable.
I’m grateful for the chance to think about this more. I get so caught up in myself it is easy to not look around at those in need. Not just monetarily but emotionally and spiritually as well.
May 25th, 2006 12:23
I’m grateful for this post and the comments. This topic of giving to beggars is highly controversial in the LDS circles I’ve been in. I can see the potential dilemmas, but I’ve found that it becomes more simple when I approach such situations this way: whether or not I give is a test of my heart, not theirs. It’s a test of my compassion, not their sincerity. Since the scenario is a metaphor for our own need for salvation, I want to give even if I’m not assured of the person’s “worthiness.” Heck, what am I worthy to receive from God?
Still, I find that I bump up against the limits of my goodwill all too quickly. If you’ll excuse me linking to an old blog post rather than retelling the story: Thou Hypocrite
May 25th, 2006 14:38
I wouldn’t have anything to add to the post but the timing is interesting.
I go on a daily bike ride at lunch and I usually carry an ID and a debit card with me. This past Monday, I took along a $1 and $5 bill. I live in SLC and during my rides I often stop for a rest in front of the Conference Center across from Temple Square. I have never been asked for money nor have I witnessed anyone who looked like they needed help (timing, I know).
Well, the one day I had cash with me, I was asked for some change by a man who looked like he’d been digging ditches all day – sunburned and strong. He had passed me with a nod and turned around a few steps later and asked for a little change. I gave him the $1 bill. His name is Jesse. He suggested that my bike could do “a hundred miles an hour” and I confirmed that the bike may – but not with me on it.
Minutes later, a dusty man with a full-frame backpack on passed by me like a ghost. Compared to him, my collective burden was insignificant. He sat down on the wall about 20 feet from me, took off his pack and quietly relaxed. The $5 bill was his. I waited for him to ask for help but he wasn’t about to. I rode past him and turned around. I asked him if he could use a little cash. “I don’t have any money,” he replied. He was tired and off-guard and thought this spandex-clad guy on a shiny bike was asking him for money. “No,” I said nervously, “do you need some cash?” “That would be great,” he said and then he told me he really needed someone to talk to. I listened to his story while his exhaustion seemed to lift. After a short discussion about the evils of family, I was compelled to remind him that, like ourselves, the people who have done him harm will be judged on their merits. There was a spark of energy in his eyes and voice at the realization that a portion of his burden was not his to worry about. I gave him directions to the library and a homeless mission within the area where he could get a cot and meal.
On my way back home, I realized how shaken I was at the realization that I had to offer the money to the man – not just give out change upon request. I had help. And, I imagine, the same spirit assists your missionaries in the field.
May 25th, 2006 15:35
Since we recently have a little more, I have been thinking about ways to be more generous.
This kind of sentiment is so inspiring to me. To be thinking of others instead of being consumed with “Ah, we finally have more money…what can we GET?” Discussions like this just help me want to reevaluate our priorities to make sure we are not “turning away the beggar” unnecessarily.
BTW, my own personal feeling is that fast offerings are anything but a copout. They certainly don’t have to be seen as a cure-all, but I have a great deal of trust in what the Church does with the funds. I also appreciate the fact that they often help people about whom I may not be aware, even in my own neighborhood. It’s not always the beggar on the street who is in need, but I don’t always know where those needs close to me are.
I’m also particularly tender-hearted about children in need, so I like to take opportunities once in a while to help with a charity that specifically focuses on feeding and helping children.
And I’m always appreciative for organizations like Deseret Industries, the Salvation Army, and, around our neck of the woods, an MS charity that comes around and picks up our donations! I feel I am able to give more because it’s one less trip I leave unmade (so often I’m in survival mode as far as errands are concerned).
Sheesh…not that you needed to hear all of that….
May 25th, 2006 18:41
M&M I feel much the same about the woman I mentioned as you do about the woman you mentioned. It’s gut wrenching sometimes.
Miss Sarah, I agree that it is so unfortunate how much goes to waste. But also I’ve read of charities that grossly abuse funds. It would be nice if we could just give money to charities, but it seems like you have to go through their business practices with a fine-toothed comb. And you are definitely right that learning and sharing useful skills would be a very effective solution.
Ryan, I disapprove of how you’re using my donation thread to get drunk on endorphins.
I had a thought the other day, that maybe these people’s lives are so bad that getting plastered is the closest thing to antidepressants as they can get. Thinking of it that way, I worry less about how the money will be spent.
I think carrying food with you is an excellent idea. Not only for sharing with needy people you may see, but also in cases of emergencies (Like the Stolpas). And having a kid means I’m lugging around that huge diaper bag anyways. Adding a few granola bars and juice box won’t bother me at all. Great idea!
Tanya, the stories of people living off charity make me sick. These people are not only abusing the good will of those around them, but they are major contributors in stopping up the flow of charitable donations. I’d say they should be jailed, but then they’re still living off my taxes. Jerks!
Great comments everyone! keep ‘em coming.
May 26th, 2006 06:40
For those who live in the Salt Lake area: I took a tour of Welfare Square recently. Did you know that anyone in need can show up there to get help? There are 5 or so bishops assigned to Welfare Square, just to assess needs of those who need help. They find out how the person in need can help at Welfare Square, and the person is fed and he helps moving boxes of food in the storehouse or sorting clothes in DI or something. Cool, huh?
May 26th, 2006 10:04
10 That’s awesome. I love the welfare program (which is yet another reason why I trust fast offerings)!
May 26th, 2006 13:58
Kathy S. Thank you for linking that post.
J Joseph, that is indeed a sobering thought that turning away the begger may even be failing to offer, rather than just failing to share when asked. Very sobering. I suppose following the guidance of the spirit takes on even more importance with that in mind.
Sara R. I love! the welfare square tour. I highly recommend it to anyone. It is almost worth going to SLC just to go on that tour. Also they have pamphets with specific instructions and ideas of ways to help, (quilt dimentions, hygiene kit contents, specific needs at the time etc.) I had one once, and I gave it to a member of the bishopric, and haven’t seen it since. I’ll have to go get another one.
May 26th, 2006 15:24
I’m touched by this thread. I’m b-casting the link.
It’s surprising what sometimes comes back when we help others.
A brother in our ward gets surplus bread donated by a local grocery store and brings it to Church. We then move it to my car and I drive to the SW LA (Watts) branch t give to members and friends in need, usually including the Hispanic Evangelicals across the street from the branch.
There usually are a couple of street people at the end of the off-ramp in Watts to whom I give some of the bread. Once, an older man to whom I gave some bread asked whether I had any shepherd’s bread like I’d given him before. In my hurry to get to the Branch before the members left, I felt, literally, that beggars shouldn’t be choosers, but found a loaf of shepherd’s bread and gave it to him. Then he returned the bread I gave him at first. Seeing the confusion in my face, he said simply, “Well, I’m not going to take more than I need.” Then I understood this man’s courage to preserve his dignity in his extremity.
The brother that gets the bread from the store grew up in nearby Compton. He’s a retired ‘phone repairman. He and his family moved to Orange County after the Watts riots, in 1963, because the repairmen couldn’t go into Watts to restore service for several weeks after the riots. He takes the bread to the branch when I can’t go. It has brought him closure, after 40 years, to go back there and receive the very open-hearted welcome as a brother from the black, brown, and white Saints in the Branch in Watts *because* he’s LDS.
I’ve given food and money, I’m sure, to people who were gaming me. I found that as I learn to dump my pride, it no longer bothers me that I may have been tricked. It becomes the trickster’s problem. (See Jac 2:16-21). It’s very liberating *not* to look for faults in a brother or sister as a check step before turning into a charitable person: it allows me to stay charitable.
“I’ve wept in the night
For the shortness of sight
That to somebody’s need made me blind.
But, I never have yet
Felt a tinge of regret
For being a little too kind.”
– quote by Pres. Monson in GenCon
I also have given food from my grocery shopping to beggars that were well-dressed but were so hungry that they immediately left the corner to go eat what I’d given them.
I recently noticed that I was giving to beggars who stand mutely with a sign, but I would not buy fruit or flowers from the poor people selling them at off-ramps. My feeling had been that these people had less need because they had a job. How much of a living could this be??? Now, I try to help them also.
Giving to more-poor people seems to follow a basic thread in the Gospel’s pattern of leading us to become what God wants us to be. Like fast offering, PE fund, missionary fund, time in callings, genealogy, member-missionary work, temple work, etc., when is it enough? When is it too much? There always will be an opportunity to spend another penny or another minute in what normally is a good cause. But too much leads to burn-out and poverty. The answer? I believe it’s developing an oneness with God, a sensitivity to the Spirit’s guidance to know when to use more of that with which He’s blessed us for others and when to preserve our own well-being. Oneness with God and sensitivity to the Spirit. Needed.
May 26th, 2006 15:33
J Joseph,
Thank you for sharing your story (somehow I missed it until today). It reminded me of the following scripture:
Mosiah 4:26
And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you–that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God–I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.
Because you offered, you were also able to help that man more than just physically. You helped him emotionally and spiritually to find a little ray of light, to feel someone’s love and concern, to have a little more perspective. Your $5 will have run out fairly quickly, but I imagine the other help you offered will have a lasting effect. Sometimes people need our time and love as much (if not, perhaps, even more than) our money. And sometimes it may be easier to give of tangible things than of our hearts. Your story is an inspiration on many fronts.
May 26th, 2006 15:35
manaen,
Beautiful thoughts. Thank you for sharing. This really is an awesome thread. (Thanks, Starfoxy!)
May 26th, 2006 18:14
My husband’s colleague carries around a roll of quarters–he figures he can always give someone a quarter.
The last time I was at Temple Square in Salt Lake City there were several signs posted instructing visitors *not* to give money to those who asked for it but to contribute to organizations for the needy. I have not been there in a couple of years so I don’t know if these signs are still there. Knowing that Welfare Square works to provide anyone with assistance who needs it is comforting.
I think the idea of providing goods as opposed to plain ol’ cash is excellent for those who worry about the money going to counter-productive purposes. [We had someone approach us in SLC asking for help in getting a motel room for her and her daughter as they were stranded. We replied we’d be happy to go the motel and pay the office–she declined]
They have debit-type gift cards for McDonald’s, Sonic and other places. You can use it to purchase food and drinks, even reload it with more money, but you don’t get change back.
JKS–I second the idea of having little lunch bags ready, so there isn’t a problem juggling stuff for you or them!
May 26th, 2006 19:01
Yes they still have the signs up around temple square. It is is for the reasons mentioned above. Not only is there welfare square but many homeless shelters near by, and well as other churches that have help nearby. Most of the people in that area begging for food are looking for the handout not real help.
I saw a few years ago a news story on a church downtown SLC that makes Sandwhiches a few days a week and just hand them out to who ever comes to their window for food. It was such a great story.
I also want to mention what I have done in my home. We buy an extra can or bag of dry food to put in what we call our “food storage box”. We then give the food in that box to various food drives that come around during the year. We will also add extra to it from our food storage but in this way we always have something to give even if we have been living on what is stored.
I also try to live by the guidance of the spirit and give when I feel the prompting that someone is indeed in need. I think what is amazing about this thread are all the people that think about charity and how do we make our time and dollars go the farthest. That is what concerns me the most. Not that I don’t think someone is worthy or not because I know blessing come from the giving. I want to be sure that I’m following the promtings so I am always capable to give when the need arises. I do believe the more you give the more you receive back in turn.
May 27th, 2006 00:16
I really like the idea of the food box, Tanya!
Do you keep it stored in an area close to the main food storage?
May 27th, 2006 03:47
I’ve struggled ever since we moved here to Albania with beggars on the street. The U.S. embassy tells us NOT to give money to them because of the issue of traficking. Many of the women and children asking for money are “owned”, “bought” by men who use them to make money. There are often women with baby in arms asking for money. There is a group of beggars on a corner I pass each day and I see the man directing and giving orders and taking money.
It breaks my heart and I hate to be a bad example to my kids who see me turning them away. I often try and keep fruit or individual packages of crackers or juice boxes in my car and there are many times I give them the sandwich or bottle of water in my hand half eaten or drunk. But it is not always the case.
I have to remind myself constantly about the advise given by the Ambassador that giving money only promotes traficking of people and children which is a great great evil in this world. I also remind myself that I give a generous fast offering, which I know goes directly to people who need help.
In the mean time I try when I can to give food, but there are times (once every ten times almost) that they refuse the food and ask for money. In any case I feel rotten.
May 27th, 2006 12:13
We keep our food storage box by our main food storage area. It is easy to add to it that way. I also try to tell the kids what is to go in it when the put away the food.
This topic keeps me thinking, and I remembered an experience that Michael and I had when we moved to Wisconsin. We drove out a few weeks before the move to find an apartment, look for jobs and check into the University. We had planned on staying in motels for a couple of days and then head back home. We were blessed to meet the branch President and he arranged for us to stay in the home of some members that were on vacation. When we tried to pay for the use of the home we were told, “To pass it on”. That is what we have tried to do, pass on the blessings we have been given. I think Satan wants us to feel guilty for not “doing more”. If you do what you can that is so important, and I think there is much to say “I would if I could”. Jen, if you feel guilty about not being able to give money because of the trafficing issue, perhaps you could save more of what you would give and donate to other humanitarian causes, or other church donations. In that way you can know the benefit you are doing. If those you are trying to help are refusing the food, you then know that the money would be going to something other than food on the table. At least that is how I would like to think of it. I’m not where you are so I don’t see the suffering you see. I imagine it is horrible. On the same token, I often feel the same guilt when I don’t give to people I don’t know. I have only done that myself a few times. The rest of the time I’m content to know my donations to various charities are helping someone somewhere that are truly in need. Always remember of the analogy that the starfish thrown back in the sea. You may not make a difference to all, but you make a difference to the one.
May 28th, 2006 14:05
I’ve enjoyed this thread, it fits my heart. Thank you.
May 30th, 2006 01:49
This has been a wonderful thread! Thanks so much for this post, Starfoxy. I love that term “pre-meditated charity.” Often we do things we later regret simply because we are taken off guard.
As we have lived in different places around the world we have tried to think about how to respond to requests from beggars who came to our house, those we met in the street, or who came up to our car at traffic lights. There can also be difficult situations if ward members start approaching other members for loans or handouts. We made some mistakes, but we learned from them, and we tried to follow the advice that many of those commenting have given–seek the guidance of the Spirit. That usually meant different responses in different situations.
We have also discussed this issue with friends who work in large cities, and use public transport. None of them are wealthy enough to every beggar they see every work day, so they try to be sensitive to spiritual promptings.
The idea about having little packets of food is one we started practicing in Latin America when Sister S, the mission president’s wife (who attended our ward) told us that is what she did for those who approached her car at traffic lights. I had been buying cheap individually wrapped hard candies from older children, or mothers with small children strapped on their backs. But by giving crackers I knew I was giving nourishment.
Sister S also explained that the mission policy was for missionaries not to give money to people. There were at least two reasons for that policy: 1)The funds for missionary support had been taken from donations and then essentially consecrated for that specific purpose, and 2) If missionaries had given out money, they would be mobbed continually by beggars, and people would begin to see them as a source of material food, rather than spiritual nourishment. Since most people in the countries we have lived in know about that policy, we understand that the missionaries are usually not approached. In another very poor country, a missionary told me that on a rare occasion when he was asked for money, the words of Peter to a suppliant came into his mind, “Silver and gold have I none: but such as I have give I thee. . . .” (Acts 3:6)The Elder then repeated that thought (in modern Spanish), explained who he was, and offered to teach the man the Gospel. The man then took the Elders back to his hut, and received the first discussion.
When feeling almost overwhelmed by the great suffering in the world, I have tried to remember that solace is available to all who seek it from the Lord; and, as Tanya pointed out, “You many not make a difference to all, but you make a difference to the one.”
June 1st, 2006 17:59
Here’s an interesting progression:
“What goes around, comes around”.
“There is a destiny that makes us brothers;
No one goes his way alone.
For that which you send into the lives of others
Comes back into your own”.
“And it is requisite with the justice of God that men should be judged according to their works; and if their works were good in this life, and the desires of their hearts were good, that they should also, at the last day, be restored unto that which is good. And if their works are evil they shall be restored unto them for evil. Therefore, all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame—mortality raised to immortality, corruption to incorruption—raised to endless happiness to inherit the kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the kingdom of the devil, the one on one hand, the other on the other— The one raised to happiness according to his desires of happiness, or good according to his desires of good; and the other to evil according to his desires of evil; for as he has desired to do evil all the day long even so shall he have his reward of evil when the night cometh. And so it is on the other hand. If he hath repented of his sins, and desired righteousness until the end of his days, even so he shall be rewarded unto righteousness. […] Do not suppose, because it has been spoken concerning restoration, that ye shall be restored from sin to happiness. Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness. And now, my son, all men that are in a state of nature or I would say, in a carnal state, are in the gall of bitterness and in the bonds of iniquity; they are without God in the world, and they have gone contrary to the nature of God; therefore, they are in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. And now behold, is the meaning of the word restoration to take a thing of a natural state and place it in an unnatural state, or to place it in a state opposite to its nature? O, my son, this is not the case; but the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish—good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful. Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again. For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all”.
– Alma 41:3-6, 10-15
June 3rd, 2006 05:28
I have heard the many stories about the super rich folks (or the super criminal folks) who no more need your money than others, or those who only buy drugs/alcohol with what they receive, but here’s my theory:
I don’t KNOW that person, or their situation. I could tell myself that they were undeserving and therefore not assist them (my judgment based on NO hard information) or I could give them some money and hopefully help them.
It makes me feel better to help them. I feel terrible that I don’t help them more than I do (and usually I give them at least a $10.00 bill, more often than not, a $20.00.)
My husband used to protest, because we live from paycheck to paycheck, and they might not be truly needy. But even if they aren’t poor, or I’m contributing to their habit, well, heck, the fact that they’re willing to stand out in the weather, and endure the jibes and jeers and bad attitudes they receive, is worth some payment, if only for the entertainment they provide.
My husband is coming around. Yesterday he saw a man with a “I’m hungry” sign. He drove to McDonald’s and got two double cheeseburgers and an ice water (not knowing what type of soda the man might like) and brought it back to him, along with a few dollars. He says the man immediately stepped back from the street entrance area to eat.
The man was not there when we drove by a few hours later. But the ice water cup was still there…which piqued my husband who is a staunch supporter of the death penalty for litterbugs… = ) My husband was curious, where did he go, to another area to beg, since he had already gotten food here and it would look silly to stay there with an “I’m hungry” sign? But I told him it was quite possible that now that he’d eaten, he wasn’t hungry anymore and went home…(if he had a place) so why assume the worst?
Téa, I like the idea of the little gift cards from the fast food places, those are really ideal in these situations and easy to obtain/carry/use.
I’ll probably still give cash along with the cards, though, because they usually have other needs than food.
Some of you know that I’m an atheist who was a former convert to the church…but I do these things because I’ve never stopped believing in the teachings of Jesus. His story is of the ultimate non-judgmental, charitable, and caring individual.
Part of the ‘do not give cash to beggars’ theme is based upon literal security, part is based upon the fear that their success will embolden others who will throng to the area and drive away the paying tourists (etc) and part is the underlying stereotype that they just probably aren’t worthy of the help.
I disagree with the worthiness portion. We are all worthy of receiving help. Some of us just have other ways to obtain that assistance, or other skills we can use to assist ourselves. If I had the time and the money and the skills, I could take each of the beggars under my wing and nurture them and teach them self subsistance techniques. Since I don’t, I try to give them the little help I can.
I’m probably just doing this out of guilt, not out of any christ-like personality trait. The old saying goes, “There, but for the grace of God, go I” and I’d like to think if it was me out there, someone would help.
June 3rd, 2006 19:45
Darlene,
It doesn’t sound like you are doing it out of guilt to me. You are doing it for the real reasons, and the true and right reasons. Never, ever, feel guilty about that one! You have the best attitude about this and that is marvelous. Something I know I can learn from.
On a personal note, my husband and I went to dinner yesterday for my birthday. We took trax to SLC and when we got off at our stop a gentleman needed help getting off with all his stuff. (Trust me it was a alot. It looked like all he owned in the world.) He missed his stop previously because he couldn’t get his things around someone that had a bicycle blocking his belongings. After we walked to the establishment we were going to eat ate. He stopped to chat while he caught his breath before going on. He asked if we had some spare change to give him for a new bus ticket because his ran out of time by missing his last stop. We gave him what little change we had. It wasn’t much, but we could tell he needed it, and felt horrible in that asking. Moments later someone else that was just going down the street asking anyone he say for money. We had nothing more to give. Perhaps we should have had more change, but it was nice to beable to give what little we could at the time.
June 3rd, 2006 21:53
[Copying this comment over for Christine, a new reader:]
Love it! Thank you. I too can carry $5 to honor the Prophet Joseph Smith and my Savior. I learned to crochet from a friend’s mom as a early teen and I love giving back to those who need tropical sore bandages.
I’m glad I found your site, adding you to my favs.
GIlbert- Arizona
[Welcome again, Christine!]