A Prayer of Faith

For a period of many years I had difficulty with the concept of gratitude. I wanted to stop working. I greatly desired that my husband could find a job that would bring that about. I prayed, I cried, and prayed some more. I think the only thing I prayed and cried more for was the gift of more children. The guilt was horrible, I felt so ungrateful to want even more blessings. After all, I had a warm home, a good job working with the most precious of Gods children, a wonderful husband, two sweet children, loving parents, good friends, fairly decent health, great sisters, a brother I adore, and so many more I could not name them all at once. How could I possibly want more?

The guilt tore me up inside, and every time a talk was given on gratitude and thanksgiving, I would cringe and feel so hypocritical. I did not know how to reconcile my wants for more and feeling so ungrateful in the process. Many times I had looked and searched through topics on Gratitude in my struggle to understand my feelings without ever coming to a satisfactory conclusion. I felt my prayers suffered because I did not know how to ask for a temporal blessing when I already had so much. This went on for several years, until my wise bishop, now my stake president challenged the stake to read the Book of Mormon from the 1st of November to the end of December. While visiting our in-laws over Thanksgiving I was reading in the book of Alma and the answer came to my eyes and my heart.

Alma 7:23-24
23 And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive.
24 And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works.

This verse touched my soul and I wept in renewed gratitude for the Love of God. What a marvelous answer, it is okay to want to have more, as long as we are always giving Thanks for what we do have. There was my answer, since then I have never felt guilty for what I pray for, as long as I am grateful for what I do have. I learned that as long as the things I desired were noble and worthy, it is good to desire blessings. Monetary blessings are just part of the temporal blessings I requested. There were requests for health of family and friends. I requested help to make it through each work shift without causing harm to the little souls entrusted in my care. I desired my family to have the same richness and outpouring of Gods love and generosity.

A terrible and heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders, and raised my spirits so much. I learned that as long as I did not covet what others had my concerns and prayers were heard and I could feel comfort in my situation. It was still years before I felt that the time to stop working had come. I never stopped praying and hoping for the answers to come. By that time I had learned much about gratitude and faith. I think I became a much happier and contented person which helped my trials that arrived shortly after this experience.

Oh how my soul sings for the kindness and love shown to me by our Creator. Oh what wonders, and joy that life brings, when it is filled with gratitude and Thanksgiving. Miracles occurred, and my life was blessed. All I had to do was seek and I found the answer so sweet, that my life has been different from that day on. Always remember, that it is okay. Gratitude is praising God for all that we have, and He truly wants to give us more! Feed your soul, and as hard as life can be, you will always have the blessings of the spirit fill your life.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 at 7:08 am and is filed under Every Word. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.