Reporting
“Experience is the raw material of life. It is abundantly available to every person. We can use it to discover, grow, and change; or we can simply let it happen and keep breathing until something else happens, never using what we have learned to positively influence and shape future experience” (p. 83).
One of the last chapters in Sister Pearce’s book, A Heart Like His, is simply entitled, “Reporting.” This is where the rubber hits the road in our experiment, combining reflection, awareness, discovery, accountability, and sharing all in one. This is the only element of the experiment that requires some planning and some extra time – but that’s why we hope our regular essays and the open invitation to share your ponderings, experiences, learning, and goals here will be helpful. Here is where we can report to one another and bring some of our own awareness to the surface.
Following are some guidelines Sister Pearce gives on reporting:
“Set a specific time to report. Shorter intervals between reporting times will help you develop new attitudes more quickly” (p. 85). (Here on Roxcy, you are welcome to report daily, weekly — whatever is a good interval for you.)
“If you can’t find someone to debrief with, write. Composing letters or journal entries will help you figure things out” (p. 85). (Or, we could add, debrief by writing to others, as you can here!)
“Be honest. The outcome of an experiment by definition is not predictable. This isn’t a test. An experiment is simply a way to learn. Your actions, feelings, and observations will necessarily be different than anyone else’s. If you are honest in reporting, then you will be able to learn something that has value for you” (p. 86).
“Identify personal red flags. I am convinced that each of us has stumbling blocks peculiar to ourselves” (p. 86).
“Discover what your reflexive thoughts are–the ones that keep your heart locked up tight. When you find out what they are, then you can evaluate whether they are rational or not and whether you should experiment with changing them” (p. 87).
“Pay attention to spiritual confirmations. Is the Spirit working in this? Do you feel confirmations of comfort, peace, and happiness? Are the seeds beginning to swell?” (p. 87) (Think Alma 32 and the experiment contained therein.)
“Along with reporting … , pondering over this experiment in Christianity can be productive. Taking time alone to think and pray is all too rare in a busy and fast-moving world. It just doesn’t happen if it isn’t consciously programmed in to life” (p. 90).
“[J]ust make sure you do it. [!!] It is very often in the act of reporting that the Holy Ghost chooses to witness and confirm the actions. And ultimately, it is the confirmation of the Spirit that provides the best motivation to keep doing good things” (p. 90).
We will continue to explore different aspects of the experiment in these essays. As we do, there will be more things with which to experiment, and thus, more things on which to report. Remember, reporting is a way to turn the raw-material experiences we have into learning experiences. So, report away!
July 7th, 2006 17:27
Identify personal red flags. I am convinced that each of us has stumbling blocks peculiar to ourselves
I’ve really enjoyed this post. Thank you.
July 9th, 2006 05:07
You’ve prompted me to comment on this post on my blog at:
http://ethesis.blogspot.com/2006/07/inventories-healing-your-heart.html
July 9th, 2006 15:15
I enjoyed this enough that I’ve now blogged about this post and linked back to it (even though it doesn’t show up on the track backs).
July 9th, 2006 22:20
Stephen M,
Sorry about that second comment…it got caught in the spam filter for some reason. Thanks for sharing your positive thoughts here and on your blog.
July 11th, 2006 21:17
OK, it’s time for my “report.”
Sister Pearce says, “Be honest.” Well, to be honest, in some ways I think I did better with this concept of opening my heart before I found out about this book! I had been trying to open my heart more, esp. at times when I tended to close up (this may sound silly, but one example of that is when telemarketers call — I often am pretty short and not very tolerant (think long, loud sighs and a tired voice, just to be sure they knew I didn’t want to be talking to them)…I tried to be better about being nicer in my refusal of their services).
I think the experiment just came at a time when I was more prone to a closed heart…I had a few weeks where I felt not-so-good (I have some chronic fatiguey health problems that can weigh on me — sometimes more than others). That, I have found, is one of my worst triggers for closing my heart. It takes extra, extra effort for me to open up at those times.
I also have found, sadly, that it’s a lot easier to open my heart to people I don’t know very well. In fact, I have found a correlation between the degree to which I know someone (esp. family) and the degree to which I close my heart. This is something discussed in the book, and I suppose if I think about things from the adversary’s point of view, he probably cares less about how I treat the person at the supermarket than about how I treat my family. So that is something I really need to work on.
I also have a harder time opening up when there isn’t a reciprocal response. Even with strangers, that is the case. Numerous times, I have said a simple hello or something to a stranger, and get a cold shoulder. And then I feel bugged. Obviously, at those times, I’m not letting the blessings of the experiment penetrate enough…one of the things brought out in the book is that the experiment can bless us regardless of other people’s responses. That has been true for me when I have opened up regardless of the response — and stayed open even after a closed response. So that is something else I want to work on.
I absolutely love this concept, and believe so deeply in the principles upon which the experiment is based. I look forward to keeping this in my consciousness through this discussion and “reporting” system on Roxcy. I suppose I should make it more a matter of prayer as well — really asking for help to have my heart changed. After all, we are told to pray for charity, right?
July 12th, 2006 06:49
I have wanted to report but have had trouble finding the time to think it out in order to write it out. We had a visitor recently. I have had problems with misunderstandings with her in the past. I was trying to open my heart while she was here. I tried to be open to conversations and then to not take personally things said that maybe in the past I would have taken as an attack on my values. I tried to listen with love (and maybe the best word for it are open my heart). It turned out to be a very good visit.
I do understand about what Michelle says about not feeling good making it hard to open your heart, especially to your family. I was sick for a couple of weeks and add tiredness (from a baby) to that and I had a real difficult time opening my heart. I could feel it close at times, but felt too worn out to try and change.
I did feel positive about my visitor. Opening my heart to her helped good feelings happen.
July 12th, 2006 14:52
It’s funny that we’re just now actually ‘reporting’ on this thread. We want to do it, but just maybe not on center stage.
I’ve had countless experiences where I feel myself begin to ‘pull back’ (my heart kind of shrinking and closing, and actually ‘pulling back’). Sometimes, I’ve been able to take a breath and consciously bloom it out again, but sometimes i just accept that I’m ‘closed’ for the time being.
I’m having trouble with feeling guilty afterwards when I do that. I need to keep that in check because, well, guilt is never a good motivator; it just plays too easily into the adversary’s hands. I need to remind myself that I am a novice at this, and that like anything, it takes practice. It can be hard. I’d much rather be good at it, y’know?
There are the times, though that I do keep it open, or open it back up, and it’s hard to describe but it feels really good. Sometimes I see that good reflected in the face of the person I’m talking to, and sometimes I don’t, but either way I feel good in me that I did it. I guess that’s the trick, knowing that I did my best regardless of how it was received.
I know I’m too hooked on external validation, and so focusing on my own internal functioning, independent of others’ responses is something wholly new, and a little unsteady for me. It’s especially hard, given where I am in life right now. So much of my primary ‘role’ to fill is based on meeting others’ needs. So, it can be hard to detatch my sense of success/failure from others’ behavior in my interactions, but really, on this one I need to just remember that it’s about me and my state. Sure, when I see that openness and love spread, it’s a cause to rejoice, but when someone else chooses not to take it, well, that is their choice, I still rejoice in my offering of it.
I have not much made this experiment a matter of prayer, and seeing Michelle’s comment up there makes me realize that I should. I’ll work on that.
I’ll just keep breathing and blooming in the meantime.