Comments on: Midwife? Doctor? Doula? http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/ Uplifting, edifying, and enriching reading by and for Latter-day Saint Women Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:06:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.4 by: Stephanie http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6280 Mon, 25 Sep 2006 00:09:04 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6280 As for the doula replacing your husband, my husband was concerned with this as well. If you have a good, sensitive doula this should not be a problem. As a doula, her role would be to teach your husband how to better support you and she is like the facillitator of that. My doula was great during our last birth, even though it was a quick birth, and my husband did most of the labor support. Never at any time was I left alone and without support because I had both him and my doula. WHen there is only one person to rely on, it makes it harder for them to leave to go to the bathroom ,etc. Near the end for our last birth, our doula took pictures while Jeff did the labor support for me. We have some absolutely beautiful, tender pictures of my husband holding me while in labor that my doula thought to take. As for the doula replacing your husband, my husband was concerned with this as well. If you have a good, sensitive doula this should not be a problem. As a doula, her role would be to teach your husband how to better support you and she is like the facillitator of that. My doula was great during our last birth, even though it was a quick birth, and my husband did most of the labor support. Never at any time was I left alone and without support because I had both him and my doula.
WHen there is only one person to rely on, it makes it harder for them to leave to go to the bathroom ,etc. Near the end for our last birth, our doula took pictures while Jeff did the labor support for me. We have some absolutely beautiful, tender pictures of my husband holding me while in labor that my doula thought to take.

]]> by: queuno http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6268 Sun, 24 Sep 2006 22:49:17 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6268 My wife (somewhat forced) went with the surgeon/surgical staff approach for all three C-sections (again, more or less forced). I don't think a midwife, doula, or gregorian chant choir would have been of much use... :) My wife (somewhat forced) went with the surgeon/surgical staff approach for all three C-sections (again, more or less forced). I don’t think a midwife, doula, or gregorian chant choir would have been of much use… :)

]]> by: cchrissyy http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6261 Sun, 24 Sep 2006 20:25:19 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6261 I just delivered #3 this week with a midwife and an epidural. If you want a midwife, there's no reason the posisble pitocin/epidural situation would disallow hiring one! I just delivered #3 this week with a midwife and an epidural. If you want a midwife, there’s no reason the posisble pitocin/epidural situation would disallow hiring one!

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6208 Sun, 24 Sep 2006 01:41:19 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6208 The doula's job is to support you both--or, in other words to support him supporting you. She can talk to hospital staff, run to get something, etc, so that he is free to remain with you. A good doula would never remove a husband physically or emotionally from any part of the birth. Of course you should talk about this with any doula that you interview, so that she is aware of his special sensitivity/worry on that score, but, really, it shoudl not be a problem. I delivered both children Bradley method, and both times (with a doula and then with a midwife) my husband was right there with me, and the assistant assisted us as a team. :) The doula’s job is to support you both–or, in other words to support him supporting you. She can talk to hospital staff, run to get something, etc, so that he is free to remain with you. A good doula would never remove a husband physically or emotionally from any part of the birth.

Of course you should talk about this with any doula that you interview, so that she is aware of his special sensitivity/worry on that score, but, really, it shoudl not be a problem.

I delivered both children Bradley method, and both times (with a doula and then with a midwife) my husband was right there with me, and the assistant assisted us as a team. :)

]]> by: Jen http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6205 Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:01:13 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6205 Wow! I love all this feed back! Thanks! One thing that has come up with my husband is that he thinks a doula might "replace him" or make him feel uncomfortable since she is basically a stranger joining us in an intimate situation. Any thoughts on husbands and doula's? Wow! I love all this feed back! Thanks! One thing that has come up with my husband is that he thinks a doula might “replace him” or make him feel uncomfortable since she is basically a stranger joining us in an intimate situation. Any thoughts on husbands and doula’s?

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6099 Fri, 22 Sep 2006 23:40:15 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6099 Stephanie, <em>"It is never too late to change your mind either… until that baby is crowning anyways! :]"</em> Hahahaha! That's hilarious--so true, but still hilarious... :D Stephanie,
“It is never too late to change your mind either… until that baby is crowning anyways! :]”
Hahahaha! That’s hilarious–so true, but still hilarious…
:D

]]> by: Stephanie http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6097 Fri, 22 Sep 2006 23:26:03 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6097 I would say to first get on your knees and find out exactly what Heavenly Father has to say about it. I knew in my first pregnancy to be packed and prepared for a premature birth. How did I know? While on my knees and through the whisperings of the Spirit. I didn't know anything then about pregnancy or childbirth but I did have the Spirit to guide me. There are all kinds of experts we have at our disposal these days during pregnancy and childbirth who all give us so many different kinds of advice, etc, but what matters first is what the Lord wants for you and your baby. All of those other expert voices, doulas, doctors, nurses, etc, are all part of the support network that we choose while having a baby... after the Lord confirms what He wants for us. He is our Master Physician and being our Creator and our baby's Creator, He has a plan for your baby and for you. Find out what that is. Pray about the doctor, the nurse, the midwife, the doula, etc. And listen to the Spirit to guide you. The times when I did not obey the Spirit... I ended up with an emergency cesarean that nearly cost my baby her life. The time when I obeyed the Spirit... I planned a cesarean section even though my heart desired another homebirth. I was blessed with a beautiful natural birth anyways...my heart's desire... due to a rapid birth and was told in a blessing that it was because of my obedience to the Lord and in giving up my will to His. I have found through giving birth 5 times and in 5 different situations that each situation is different and unique and that the Lord's plan is different for every one and it may not even include a physical reason! :} As for the water breaking early, take extra Vitamin C! This will keep your water bag stronger. Practice Kegels everyday... do a couple hundred a day! Also, water breaking early has to do with baby's position and how healthy your diet is. Make sure to take a good prenatal. Then search out midwives and doulas or doctors according to recommendations and listen to the Spirit. Get blessings if you need to in order to solidfy your decision and bring direction. Some friends think I am fanatic about being so careful about childbirth decisions, but they are important. Your baby being born only happens once in this life and does bring us very close to that thin veil of life and death. :] A doula has been wonderful for me in many of my births and essential during one of my births. My husband is a wonderful doula for me. After 5 babies, he has it all figured out! LOL Of course I am one of those "natural birth types"... even foregoing the epidural while having pit labors! Fun! LOL Above all... pray and pray some more. And get a blessing! Read and research and look into your options. It is never too late to change your mind either... until that baby is crowning anyways! :] Stephanie I would say to first get on your knees and find out exactly what Heavenly Father has to say about it. I knew in my first pregnancy to be packed and prepared for a premature birth. How did I know? While on my knees and through the whisperings of the Spirit. I didn’t know anything then about pregnancy or childbirth but I did have the Spirit to guide me. There are all kinds of experts we have at our disposal these days during pregnancy and childbirth who all give us so many different kinds of advice, etc, but what matters first is what the Lord wants for you and your baby. All of those other expert voices, doulas, doctors, nurses, etc, are all part of the support network that we choose while having a baby… after the Lord confirms what He wants for us. He is our Master Physician and being our Creator and our baby’s Creator, He has a plan for your baby and for you. Find out what that is. Pray about the doctor, the nurse, the midwife, the doula, etc. And listen to the Spirit to guide you.

The times when I did not obey the Spirit… I ended up with an emergency cesarean that nearly cost my baby her life. The time when I obeyed the Spirit… I planned a cesarean section even though my heart desired another homebirth. I was blessed with a beautiful natural birth anyways…my heart’s desire… due to a rapid birth and was told in a blessing that it was because of my obedience to the Lord and in giving up my will to His. I have found through giving birth 5 times and in 5 different situations that each situation is different and unique and that the Lord’s plan is different for every one and it may not even include a physical reason! :}

As for the water breaking early, take extra Vitamin C! This will keep your water bag stronger. Practice Kegels everyday… do a couple hundred a day! Also, water breaking early has to do with baby’s position and how healthy your diet is. Make sure to take a good prenatal. Then search out midwives and doulas or doctors according to recommendations and listen to the Spirit. Get blessings if you need to in order to solidfy your decision and bring direction. Some friends think I am fanatic about being so careful about childbirth decisions, but they are important. Your baby being born only happens once in this life and does bring us very close to that thin veil of life and death. :] A doula has been wonderful for me in many of my births and essential during one of my births. My husband is a wonderful doula for me. After 5 babies, he has it all figured out! LOL Of course I am one of those “natural birth types”… even foregoing the epidural while having pit labors! Fun! LOL

Above all… pray and pray some more. And get a blessing! Read and research and look into your options. It is never too late to change your mind either… until that baby is crowning anyways! :]

Stephanie

]]> by: TftCarrie http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6079 Fri, 22 Sep 2006 17:00:39 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6079 I'm sure you could find a midwife that would handle your birth beautifully - even if you still needed pitocin and an epidural in the end. Midwives run the gamet in philosophies so you just need to spend time talking to them. A doctor/doula combo would be great too. I know two great doula's personally in the Salt Lake area if you need a reference. talesfromthecrib 'at' gmail 'dot' com I’m sure you could find a midwife that would handle your birth beautifully - even if you still needed pitocin and an epidural in the end. Midwives run the gamet in philosophies so you just need to spend time talking to them.

A doctor/doula combo would be great too. I know two great doula’s personally in the Salt Lake area if you need a reference.

talesfromthecrib ‘at’ gmail ‘dot’ com

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6077 Fri, 22 Sep 2006 16:47:33 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6077 Another plus for the doctor/doula option that I just thoguht of... With my midwife, at the end, she had to focus on the delivery (from the 'catching the baby' standpoint), whereas with the doula, she was free to focus on me and help me stay focused and do what I needed to do as the doctor was taking care of that part. Another plus for the doctor/doula option that I just thoguht of…

With my midwife, at the end, she had to focus on the delivery (from the ‘catching the baby’ standpoint), whereas with the doula, she was free to focus on me and help me stay focused and do what I needed to do as the doctor was taking care of that part.

]]> by: Naiah http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6065 Fri, 22 Sep 2006 15:14:11 +0000 http://roxcy.synthian.org/2006/09/22/midwife-doctor-doula/#comment-6065 My daughter was born with a Doctor/Doula combination. Really, it was great. The doctor was really and truly on there at the very end; my doula was there the whole time. With my son, I delivered at a hospital again, but this time with a midwife. At least here in Washington, it can be tricky to find a midwife with hospital privileges. She (and her apprentice) were right there with me, as my doula had been. So, I had a hospital birth both times, and, for me, the difference was pretty minimal, seeing as how in the first my doula was there all along and with my second the midwife was there all along. I do suggest having an arrangement where you have some sort of birth assistant with you. Some L&D (labor & delivery) nurses are great, but, man, when their shift is up, you don't know who you'll get. If you have your own hired birth assistant, you know that you have someone you can trust who'll be with you the whole way through, and there's no worry about changing shifts and the like. Given that you have a history of tricky labors, I'd opt for a doctor and a doula, but if you decide to go midwife, just be sure that she has hospital priveleges (so you can be sure that she'll not only be a allowed to be there, but be allowed to take care of the birth--as opposed to the doctor on call coming in and taking over) because it does sound like you'd best be delivering in a hospital (as opposed to a birthing center or home). My daughter was born with a Doctor/Doula combination. Really, it was great. The doctor was really and truly on there at the very end; my doula was there the whole time.

With my son, I delivered at a hospital again, but this time with a midwife. At least here in Washington, it can be tricky to find a midwife with hospital privileges. She (and her apprentice) were right there with me, as my doula had been.

So, I had a hospital birth both times, and, for me, the difference was pretty minimal, seeing as how in the first my doula was there all along and with my second the midwife was there all along.

I do suggest having an arrangement where you have some sort of birth assistant with you. Some L&D (labor & delivery) nurses are great, but, man, when their shift is up, you don’t know who you’ll get. If you have your own hired birth assistant, you know that you have someone you can trust who’ll be with you the whole way through, and there’s no worry about changing shifts and the like.

Given that you have a history of tricky labors, I’d opt for a doctor and a doula, but if you decide to go midwife, just be sure that she has hospital priveleges (so you can be sure that she’ll not only be a allowed to be there, but be allowed to take care of the birth–as opposed to the doctor on call coming in and taking over) because it does sound like you’d best be delivering in a hospital (as opposed to a birthing center or home).

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