Fear vs. Faith
This piece was written by Irene, one of our guest writers.
I have been aware for a long time of how fearful I am. The Lord has been showing me how deep-seated, pervasive and problematic fear is in my life.
Fear keeps me from trusting in the Lord and exercising faith in Him. Without exercising faith in him I am not going anywhere and I risk putting myself in Satan’s power. I have also seen that fear is a manifestation of pride in my life, which can lead to spiritual death. According to Pres. Benson, hostility to or opposition to God is a manifestation of the sin of pride. When I don’t like or don’t want something in my life (and fear fits both scenarios) I am saying that I know a better way for me than God does; I am essentially saying that I can’t trust the Lord to direct and save me.
Another problem with fear is that it causes me to take up a defensive posture in so many of my relationships. The visual I have is that of me (my heart) standing and wielding a sword and being surrounded with spears that I have placed, all pointing outwards. In my fear I am totally defensive and self-absorbed, and I withhold my love and my self from those around me. I noticed this happening at church recently; I could clearly see how this self-protection affected my feelings and the condition of my heart. I have known for some time that I need and want to lay down the weapons of my warfare for peace. I have prayed for that. While I was taking the sacrament the Spirit brought my attention to the story of the people of Anti-Nephi-Lehi. I read about what great things the Lord had done for them and how they buried their weapons of war—and even would lay down their lives rather than take their weapons up again. I cannot comprehend so great a faith and trust and lack of fear that they apparently had. My question is, “How did they get this faith?” and, more importantly for me, “How can I get this faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ?”
I want to analyze some scripture verses to explore these questions.
And behold, I thank my great God that he has given us a portion of his Spirit to soften our hearts…. And behold…we have been convinced of our sins, and of the many murders which we have committed. And I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of those our many sins and murders which we have committed, and taken away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son (Alma 24:8-10).
It looks like it all begins with the Lord giving them His Spirit, and giving them repentance and forgiveness and taking away their guilt through the merits of Jesus Christ. They knew and acknowledged where the power came from. In the process they were convinced of their need to change.
Oh, how merciful is our God! And now behold, since it has been as much as we could do to get our stains taken away from us, and our swords are made bright, let us hide them away that they may be kept bright, as a testimony to our God at the last day, or at the day that we shall be brought to stand before him to be judged, that we have not stained our swords in the blood of our brethren since he imparted his word unto us and has made us clean thereby.
They truly experienced a mighty change of heart because they had no more disposition to do evil.
And now, my brethren, if our brethren seek to destroy us, behold, we will hide away our swords, yea, even we will bury them deep in the earth, that they may be kept bright, as a testimony that we have never used them, at the last day; and if our brethren destroy us, behold, we shall go to our God and shall be saved….
Their faith was fueled by an eternal perspective.
They took their swords, and all the weapons which were used for the shedding of man’s blood, and they did bury them up deep in the earth And this they did, it being in their view a testimony to God, and also to men, that they never would use weapons again for the shedding of man’s blood; and this they did, vouching and covenanting with God, what power did this covenant with God release in their lives? that rather than shed the blood of their brethren they would give up their own lives; and rather than take away from a brother they would give unto him; and rather than spend their days in idleness they would labor abundantly with their hands. Alma 24:15-18
The mighty change of heart for them turned them from self-absorption to selflessness.
And they were also distinguished for their zeal towards God, and also towards men; for they were perfectly honest and upright in all things; and they were firm in the faith of Christ, even unto the end. And they did look upon shedding the blood of their brethren with the greatest abhorrence; and they never could be prevailed upon to take up arms against their brethren; and they never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it. Therefore, they would suffer death in the most aggravating and distressing manner which could be inflicted by their brethren, before they would take the sword or cimeter to smite them. And thus they were a zealous and beloved people, a highly favored people of the Lord (Alma 27:27-30).
How can I get this same hope and view of Christ and the resurrection? Is it an endowment from the Lord? Feasting upon the words of Christ has to be part of it. Maybe it can be summed up by King Benjamin: that we need to yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off the natural man and become a saint through the Atonement of Christ (Mosiah 3:19).
I suppose like with all spiritual endowments we should ask, seek and knock. As I consider the armor of God and my visualization in the beginning, my sword and spears are relying on the arm of flesh. The arm of flesh certainly does need to be buried. That is one thing I am trying to do as I share with you my weaknesses. I need to wield the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Ephesians 6:17).
When I’m faced with fear, I can remember the 23rd Psalm:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
What more could I want?
Irene has lived on the East Coast of the United States all of her life, except for the year she and her husband lived in San Antonio, Texas, where they were introduced to the gospel and joined the Church. She has six wonderful grownup children and delights in being a grandmother. She says this about herself: “I love to ‘talk of Christ, … rejoice in Christ, … preach of Christ, … prophesy of Christ, and … write according to [this], that [my] children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins’ (2 Nephi 25:26).” She is delighted to have the opportunity to share some of her testimony of the Savior here at A Prayer of Faith.
January 29th, 2007 19:44
Welcome, Irene! A sentence in your first paragraph particularly hit home to me: When I don’t like or don’t want something in my life (and fear fits both scenarios) I am saying that I know a better way for me than God does; I am essentially saying that I can’t trust the Lord to direct and save me. That way of putting it helps me see how I need to cultivate an attitude of humility in order to experience comfort and peace even in the midst of trials.
Thanks so much for illustrating how these particular scriptures have helped you–and can help all of us–as we work on overcoming our fears and increasing our trust in the Lord.
January 30th, 2007 10:52
Irene, what a great post! This topic speaks to me and I like the thoughts and insights you express. I think I need to go back and re-read President Benson’s talk on pride, but also I hadn’t thought about “burying weapons” in this context and it is a good analogy. Very nice. Thanks!
January 30th, 2007 11:47
You are clearly exercising your agency, choosing faith over fear, acting in faith rather than being acted upon by fear (2 Ne. 2:14). A lump of coal is acted upon by great forces of heat and pressure over much time to become a diamond. In the course of our personal refining, we choose to “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and all men” (2 Ne. 31:20) until we become “jewels” unto the Lord (D&C 101:3). Can you imagine what it would be like to have the pure and perfect light and love of Christ shining clearly in and through your jewel-like self?! That is how I always picture “confidence wax(ing)strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45)
January 30th, 2007 20:47
Great post..wow…thanks.
Being that fear is the opposite of faith I love the analogy you described…I think we all have to work on this…I know I do!
January 31st, 2007 00:57
I love this topic and I am grateful for your willingness to open your heart here and share some beautiful insights!
January 31st, 2007 06:31
As I was re-reading this post, the image in the third paragraph, “The visual I have is that of me (my heart) standing and wielding a sword and being surrounded with spears that I have placed, all pointing outwards,” reminded me of our Experiment post, which was prompted by Virginia Pearce’s book A Heart Like His reviewed by Michelle. That book, and our APoF experiment really helped me to open my heart to others, and thus feel Heavenly Father’s love more fully in my daily life.
But I tend to fall back into old habits, and defensiveness is one that I think a lot of us fall prey to. Thanks for reminding me with that graphic image that I want to keep my heart open and accessible–to others, and to the Lord, Irene.
January 31st, 2007 11:49
RoAnn, I am so glad to hear your feedback. When I read Virginia Pearce’s book it really spoke to me. Practicing laying my “weapons” down as an experiment keeps the goal in the front of my mind. I think humility really is a key in unlocking the blessings of heaven.
MaryA, Thank you. Every time I read Pres. Benson’s talk I learn something new and am reminded of things that I have forgotten. Just like the scriptures! There are so many insights to learn and it is great to have a place like APoF to share.
Meri, What a great analogy! I love light, and will add that image to my imaginings.
Stephanie, I am so glad to that know as we all work on increasing our faith we can have our Savior’s help every step of the way.
Michelle, I really am grateful for the opportunity. I know that the Savior wants us to “be one”. What better way can we have than by truly opening our hearts to one another. Thank you.
February 5th, 2007 16:11
This is such a thoughtful post, Irene. Thank you!
I also wanted to bring up this comment:
“When I don’t like or don’t want something in my life (and fear fits both scenarios) I am saying that I know a better way for me than God does;”
I struggle with this thought, because I’m not sure if it’s true–or at least I’m not sure WHEN it’s true and when it’s not.
Can we assume that “something in my life” was actually brought there BY God? That it is HIS will for my life? Maybe the thing I “don’t like or don’t want” was brought about by my own sin, my own stupidity, the sin or stupidity of someone else…or maybe it’s just part of the course of life.
I’m on a quest to lose a bunch of baby weight. I don’t like it and I don’t want it. Honestly, I don’t think that means I don’t trust God or think I know better. I do think it means that I have to get off my duff and do something about it…which is why I just got off the treadmill.
“I am essentially saying that I can’t trust the Lord to direct and save me.”
I also struggle with this. (I’ve been involved in a similar discussion on my site about this.) This statement implies that we are wrong when we don’t trust the Lord to save us. Ultimately, it is absolutely true that he will–in the sense of offering eternal salvation, and we must trust in that. But in the sense of “saving” us from our trials–or the things we “don’t like and don’t want” in our lives–very often he really will NOT. Good, righteous people die, have disease, and all manner of horrible worldly things happen to them and those they love. Does the faith we are commanded to have require us to ignore the reality that we will sometimes we will be Daniel and sometimes Abinidi?
When I have listened to President Hinckley, Elder Nelson, Elder Wirthlin, speak of the great loneliness they experienced at the loss of their spouses–just as my own father does–it seems to me that “not wanting or not liking” a circumstance in our lives (even those, perhaps, more directly controlled by God than any) isn’t sinful or wrong. And maybe it can exist in complete harmony with trust and faith.
I hope that you will not see my post as contentious. This is truly something I struggle with internally and welcome input from others about it.
February 6th, 2007 17:04
Alison,
These are good questions…ones that I think swim in all of our minds at some time or another.
At the risk of speaking for Irene, the sense that I got from her was that this piece addressed more those things that we can’t control…things that we wish could change but can’t or won’t, with no ability for us to change anything about them ourselves — except our attitude and perspective.
That said, I still think we can mull over what you said in light of what Irene brings out here. Weight challenges, for example, are a tough one. Maybe they aren’t all-consuming for you, but I have met people for whom such issues are. It’s clear that this is not a challenge experienced by everyone, either because of biology/genetics, or habits, or whatever. The fact that there are widely varying experiences with this issue (hope you don’t mind that I piggyback off your personal example) suggests to me that we each have our own experiences. Did God cause your baby weight to stick? Maybe not, but He knew you would struggle with it. And He could have given you a body that had no baby fat issues, right? So, to me, whether our trials (things we may not like) were “caused” or “allowed” by God, or are simply part of mortality (which is also all in God’s control, either on the “cause” or “allow” side of things), doesn’t matter as much as the perspective that 1. God is in control and 2. that we can receive His help in our hard times.
I really like this from Pres. Kimball (in the manual, ch. 2):
I am sure that sometime we’ll understand [tragedy and trial] and be reconciled. But for the present we must seek understanding as best we can in the gospel principles….
Could the Lord have prevented… [any] tragedies [we experience]? The answer is, Yes. The Lord is omnipotent, with all power to control our lives, save us pain, prevent all accidents, drive all planes and cars, feed us, protect us, save us from labor, effort, sickness, even from death, if he will. But he will not.
We should be able to understand this, because we can realize how unwise it would be for us to shield our children from all effort, from disappointments, temptations, sorrows, and suffering.
The basic gospel law is free agency and eternal development. To force us to be careful or righteous would be to nullify that fundamental law and make growth impossible.
I think a lot depends on our hearts. It’s one thing to mourn and struggle (to “not like” something) in an honest, humble struggle (even the Savior didn’t like or didn’t necessarily want Gethsemane…He wanted His cup to pass). Do we let struggle bring us to God? Do we hurt with an attitude of “Thy will be done”? Do we realize that all things can work together for good if we love God? Do we accept the trials in humility, regardless of their cause? Do we do all we can do and seek for grace to help us through what we can’t control? That to me is faith. It’s another thing to throw a temper tantrum, selfishly have a pity party, shake our fists at heaven, etc….things that can pull us away from God. I think we can hurt but still have faith in a “But if Not” kind of a way.
Ah, looooong response.
February 6th, 2007 19:31
Alison,
I appreciate the opportunity to think about the questions you have raised. I want to share a few scriptures and some of my thoughts in response. There is nothing simple about it, and I don’t think there are any easy answers.
“¶ Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6
I think trust and fear are opposites.
In the scriptural context “save me” doesn’t necessarily mean deliver me from certain experiences, though it can mean that, as in the two examples you cited. I think Mosiah 24:15 exemplifies the other kind of “saving” in mortality:
“ And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.”
The Lord sees the end from the beginning. He says his purposes cannot be frustrated (D&C 3:1). He says :
“For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Moses 1:39.
He also says:
“Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;… and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. D&C 98:1,3.
When I am fearful, I am saying that I don’t want or like some of the opportunities and experiences that are ordained of God to be part of my mortal probation. And for me, that not wanting and not liking constitute resistance to God. So maybe it would be better for me to just say it that way. I am resisting God’s plans for me. The scriptures say that “ all these things (and I think even these things that you mention:
“something in my life” was actually brought there BY God? That it is HIS will for my life? Maybe the thing I “don’t like or don’t want” was brought about by my own sin, my own stupidity, the sin or stupidity of someone else…or maybe it’s just part of the course of life.”)
shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.” D&C 122:7 “And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” D&C 121:8.
I don’t think that enduring it well means that we are not to sorrow at the loss of loved ones, even the heavens sorrowed at the suffering of Father’s children. Pain and suffering are uncomfortable at the least and well, “painful”, what mortal wants or likes either? I think also that learning to endure well is a process and the Lord is perfectly patient and loving with us in the process.
The Lord is omniscient and omnipotent. I believe he permits our lives to unfold, knowing that we need to learn to choose good from evil, by experience with opposition, “Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other.” 2 Nephi 2:16
The very stance that I describe I take, when I am fearful, shows that I am in opposition to his will. His will is for me to lay down my “weapons” and open my heart, to love him and others. To be one with Him and with my brothers and sisters.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I hope this helps a little.
February 6th, 2007 19:37
Michelle,
Thank you so much for your insights. What a blessing when we share with each other because it enlarges our individual understanding of issues. I too loved that quote from the President Kimball manual.
I don’t know the meaning of all things but I do know that God loves his children.
February 6th, 2007 20:45
I don’t know the meaning of all things but I do know that God loves his children.
This is becoming one of my favorite scriptures, sometimes in a hold-onto-it-with-white-knuckles kind of a way.