A Woman of Many Talents and Abilities
The woman who is described in Proverbs 31:10-31 is a most accomplished woman. We do not know whether she was a real woman, or an ideal woman described by King Lemuel’s mother, but it’s safe to say that what this woman accomplished was very possible in that day and age–otherwise, it is unlikely she would have been held up as an example of a virtuous woman.
Proverbs 31:
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She ariseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
This is a woman who works hard–not only in her own household, but she is apparently a business woman of sorts. She buys and sells food and linen and land. She also serves the poor, helping them. She speaks wisely and kindly. She raises her children well and they and her husband admire her. She fears the Lord. Her works earn her praise.
In some ways, a woman reading this might feel a bit discouraged. How can any one woman do all that? I think, however, that the point of this description is that a woman should take whatever she has at hand and make the best of it with diligence and persistance. Also, with patience. All the things described in Proverbs 31 would have had to begin with this woman learning how to do all those things. It is almost certain that she made mistakes and suffered failures along the way. She persisted, though, and became an accomplished woman, not only for herself, but for all those around her. She did not let setbacks stop her.
I see a lot to be learned in this description. Not only are we given the obvious examples of the sorts of things an accomplished woman can do, but we can ponder how she became what she was. I suspect it was through diligent, hard work. I’m sure she had to overcome discouragement and mistakes. Her fear of, or reverence for, the Lord is mentioned specifically, so we know that she followed the Lord.
Each of us has our own special package of talents and abilities. Whether we develop and use them or not is up to us. It is easy to think we can’t do something because our beginning efforts aren’t so very promising, but if we persist, we will get somewhere. We will accomplish something. Of course, sometimes we may try something and, not only are we not so good at it, but it doesn’t really interest us and it isn’t something that is necessary to serving the Lord or our family. So we can let those kinds of things go without guilt. This frees up our time and strength for those things that are most important for us and our families.
There are any number of ideas that this passage of scripture can bring to mind. Are there ideas you think of that you could share with us?
March 14th, 2007 06:43
Oh Mary,
What you’ve written here is my recent life in a nutshell. I have begin to engage with my roles and responsibilities in a more straightforward, much more effective manner, and as I am feeling more success with it all, I find myself more enamored of it all. Sure, I am working something like 4 times as hard as I was before (judging by clock hours spent on housework/actively engaged with husband and kids/personal study), but, what’s been amazing is that it’s all actually gotten *easier* with the increased effort. I feel like I am becoming that woman in Proverbs.
Given that as my context, when you wrote:
it echoed a train of thought I’ve ridden countless times lately. Oddly, for all that I’m plenty good at it, I am finding blogging more and more to be one of those things that I want to let go in order to free up yet more time and strength, but then I remember that, here on APoF, we are striving to serve the Lord and our fellow-sisters in the gospel, and I remember that the sacrifice is worth it.
March 14th, 2007 10:34
Naiah, great minds think alike!
Seriously, though, I have been trying to do things more deliberately–not rushing through them, but not dragging my feet, either–and make decisions about whether to continue with this or that. Setting goals, setting priorities, and, above all, being patient–with myself, with the task–is what I am trying to do. Certain things I want to get into deeper, others don’t have to be so deep.
You’ll probably think I’m making this up, but I have the same thoughts about blogging–that it would be something to give up, but yet, there’s that hope to serve others in some way (with encouragement, with knowledge, with love, or etc.) that tells me not to give it up yet. Besides, right now it is my writing outlet and that is a talent/ability I really want to develop.
This was a topic that I wanted to discuss a bit, getting feedback from others, and the Proverbs 31 woman seemed a good place to start.
My life isn’t like your life, and vice versa–we all have different things going on and are at different points, yet we can connect and understand and encourage. It does me a lot of good when my blogging/online friends are good examples to me.
March 16th, 2007 05:36
[…] Mary details a woman from the scriptures […]
March 16th, 2007 16:16
I really liked what you said in comment #2, Mary: “Certain things I want to get into deeper, others don’t have to be so deep.” Sometimes it’s really hard for me to decide how to allocate my time and energy.
At the moment I tend to believe that there’s probably a good reason if we don’t seem to get definitive answers when we seek the Lord’s help in balancing our responsibilities and our desires as women, wives, and mothers. Perhaps we need to learn by experience how to be more flexible and adaptable. Maybe our priorities will need to shift more often than we might wish, and in ways that seem difficult or threatening. I guess that’s where faith and trust come into play!
A side-note on the woman in Proverbs: IMO, I think that she is being described at the time of her life when her children are all well pretty well grown, if not all married; and I also think she directs a staff of household servants!
March 16th, 2007 16:29
Thanks, RoAnn! I agree with your 2nd paragraph–I think we’re supposed to use our brains and get experience figuring out what to do ourselves sometimes and so we don’t get the prayer answers we might want, or at all for a time. I know that I have a hard time being flexible and so I can see that being something I need to learn to do. That and shifting priorities as needed.
I hadn’t thought about it specifically, but what you say about the Proverbs woman likely having older/grown children is how I envision her. And it does sound like she has a staff of servants! People have such varied circumstances, either all the time or at times in their lives, that flexibility definitely is something we all need to learn. Thanks for sharing your insights.
March 16th, 2007 17:13
I’ll be honest. That scripture in Proverbs has often been pretty depressing to me. So I appreciate the comment that I think, however, that the point of this description is that a woman should take whatever she has at hand and make the best of it with diligence and persistance.
I have a filter in my mind that has a hard time sometimes processing the ideal as not a whip but something to aim for, one step at a time. I have been thinking lately about how easy it is, too, to take worldly, sometimes unimportant standards of or pressures toward womanly “success” and have them creep into my psyche. For example, do I really need to make my children’s snacks into cute little animals to be a good mommy? Do I have to have fourteen different kinds of crafts for them to do each holiday (or each week for that matter)? Do I have to be able to scrapbook, bake bread (although I love this art), cook gourmet meals…? Do I have to vaccum every day or wash windows regularly? Do I have to be making money on the side to be contributing to my family in a meaningful way? Sometimes I think it’s easy to end up measuring success by what others might see or think, or what we might read in a parenting magazine, or what we hear other mothers doing. Just thinking about those kinds of things can wear me out. So, that’s my long way of saying that I agree with what you said, Mary. For me, what works best is to try to look at where I am and figure out what I can do to improve a bit - particularly focusing on spending good time with my family. I don’t always succeed, but I like to look at my roles as a process, not an event. Not saying that anyone here thinks differently, but I just wanted to put my two cents’ in. And I think while we should always be striving to improve what we do in our roles (because we are here to “press forward” and “improve our time”), we can also measure success in many ways by how much the Spirit dwells in our homes and in our hearts, and how much our efforts and priorities square with what our prophets counsel us to do.
Incidentally, I can’t hear this scripture without thinking of my grandma. This was read by my uncle at her funeral. And you know, we all knew she wasn’t perfect (and this was acknowledged in that talk, actually). But we knew she loved her family. (I miss you, Grandma!)
I also appreciate what RoAnn said about how not everything about our roles will be spelled out for us. We are here to act and exercise agency and learn from our own experiences what brings the most peace and satisfaction. Sometimes I feel like a slow learner, but I also hope in the Lord’s patience and mercy as I go along!
March 17th, 2007 02:06
Michelle, thanks for your great comments! It is easy to get overwhelmed or to get caught up with comparing ourselves to others and feeling like we fall short. We just have to remember that we are each different–at different places in our lives, with different personalities and different interests–and that we should focus on what works for us personally. Easier said than done, I know, but something to work toward! You’ve made some good points and I appreciate that. Thanks!
March 18th, 2007 06:48
Michelle, I loved what you said about the value of thinking of the “ideal as not a whip but something to aim for, one step at a time.” Yes!
I also decided after reading your questions about things that I assume you see other mothers doing for and with their children, that I am quite relieved that much of the time we had children at home, we lived either in Latin America or Europe. I think that may have made a significant difference in what I felt I needed to do to be a good wife and mother.
If no one you know cans (no bottles available), or bakes bread (why bake bread when delicious, cheap bread is available at the corner bakery?), or does elaborate craft projects (no fancy materials available), there is zero pressure to be involved in these kind of things.