Naiah: I’m happy that you like the post and that you’re going to read it and discuss it with your husband.

Michelle: Dating at home is sufficient, as long as you’re not getting continually interrupted by kids getting out of bed. Making sure that you have alone time is what really matters, although I always tell my clients to get out of the house together once a week if only for a 1/2 hour walk together. For some reason, just the act of getting out of the house and going somewhere alone rekindles romance and friendship. But what is important for my clients isn’t necessarily as important for you–remember they are coming to see me because their marraiges are really struggling

I’ve often compared marriage to the stock market (bear with me!). As we go along, satisfaction and frustration both dive and climb –it’s never the same. Sometimes we are really down and feel lost in our marriages, and then other times, it’s soaring high and we feel great. The idea is to never buy out–especially when it’s low — because, like the stock market, it WILL GET BETTER. And after years and years of investment, the buy-out is HUGE and so much better than when it started. The point is to never sell out –just keep going and fighting for what’s worth it in the end.

One thing I loved about this post is taking the time to make your spouse your best friend. So important! My parents never dated; they were best friends (since 10 years old). And when my father proposed just after his mission, my mother didn’t have an answer (it was quite a surprise), but within 2 months, she knew that marrying her best friend would be the smartest thing she ever did (not to mention the answer to her prayers). And it was! I took that example to heart and married my own best friend (even though I had only known him less than a year). How fun can marriage be if you’d always rather be with “friends” instead of your spouse, you know?

Thanks again for this great lesson on marriage. I just hope I can follow the message more faithfully!

I know of some people who are in the mode of pain, because their marriages are less than ideal. I think one thing that is always important in all of this is to realize that we do our best toward the ideal, and wait in patience for it if life does not yet match that ideal. Sometimes the journey in the midst of imperfection and even broken dreams is part of our personal learning and growth that can prepare us for the fulness of blessings God holds for us.

I like this from Elder Scott:

“Throughout your life on earth, seek diligently to fulfill the fundamental purposes of this life through the ideal family. While you may not have yet reached that ideal, do all you can through obedience and faith in the Lord to consistently draw as close to it as you are able. Let nothing dissuade you from that objective. If it requires fundamental changes in your personal life, make them. When you have the required age and maturity, obtain all of the ordinances of the temple you can receive. If for the present, that does not include sealing in the temple to a righteous companion, live for it. Pray for it. Exercise faith that you will obtain it. Never do anything that would make you unworthy of it. If you have lost the vision of eternal marriage, rekindle it. If your dream requires patience, give it. As brothers, we prayed and worked for 30 years before our mother and our nonmember father were sealed in the temple. Don’t become overanxious. Do the best you can. We cannot say whether that blessing will be obtained on this side of the veil or beyond it, but the Lord will keep His promises. In His infinite wisdom, He will make possible all you qualify in worthiness to receive. Do not be discouraged. Living a pattern of life as close as possible to the ideal will provide much happiness, great satisfaction, and impressive growth while here on earth regardless of your current life circumstances.”

I feel very blessed to have a marriage of 40+ years, and I am so grateful that I, too, had the wonderful example of my parents’ marriage to help me set the right kind of relationship goals.

My husband and I are quite different in personality, but we feel we are complementary rather than opposites, and one of our favorite sayings is, “We make a great team!” We definitely have the sense that together we can accomplish far more than we ever could separately. We are united in our long-term goals, and supportive of each other in our separate endeavors.

We have had many challenges, and we went through a particularly difficult time some twenty-odd years ago, when stresses inside and outside the family were drawing us apart; but we never considered abandoning our commitment to each other. We had faith that we could surmount any problems if we kept trying the best we knew how. We are now closer and more in love than ever, and I think it is because we have continually worked on the three things you mentioned: being best friends, expressing love and appreciation daily, and sharing our spiritual journey and drawing spiritual strength from each other. We aren’t perfect at any of these yet, but we are definitely trying, and we experience the sweet results of our efforts.